What a morning!

Wow, this has been some morning.

Firstly, Direct Line phoned up and apologised for paying out the wrong person when my car was stolen in 2006 and said they’d compensate me for it being off the road for a year as a direct result of their actions. Incredible.

Then, the Child Support Agency phoned and said they’d made a mistake and realised that actually, yes, I had been paying for my ex-wife’s house between January 07 – January 08, therefore I wasn’t actually in arrears. They’re going to refund all of the money they’ve incorrectly taken from me.

Then, and this too good to be true, BT phoned…. and the person was ENGLISH! He said that they were sorry for debiting me twice in August, and for quoting me £33 for broadband, only to then charge me £68.

But wait, there’s more. Royal & SunAlliance then phoned and said they were sorry for delaying repairing my car for a year and would be sending me a full written apology.

I need to go and have a lay down. This has all been too much this morning.

Still no word from the Inland Revenue over my £4.17

Last week, the 26th March to be precise, I contacted the Inland Revenue over their mistake where they are demanding £4.17 from me in interest on a late payment, which was late because they sent my details to the wrong address. They have admitted their mistake and have rescinded the fine they placed upon me, however they still seem to want the outrageous sum of £4.17 in interest, on their mistake.

I was told by some jobsworth that £4.17 was beyond his powers and that it would have to be passed to a higher authority, who would contact me within 3 days.

It’s now April 1st.

Naturally I have heard nothing. How much of the tax payers money, our money, must we spend in wages on these idiots just to clear up the issue over £4.17? Is all of this really necessary?

I despair at the state of this country, how the bureaucracy of institutions such as the Inland Revenue is so full of itself that it takes numerous phone calls, countless man hours and several different people just to rectify a mistake to the tune of £4.17.

No wonder this country is falling apart.

Facebook shenanigans

One of the things I love about Facebook is the mini feeds that appear on your friends’ home page, containing any information about your updates. You can control what aspects of your own page appear in the mini feed, so for example if you don’t want your relationship changes, profile updates or anything else like that to be broadcast to your friends you can filter it out in your privacy settings.

What I like to do however is to have some fun with it. Over the past few months I have been adding random porn movies to my favourite movies section, purely so that they appear in other people’s feeds. For example, the screen shot below shows that I have added ‘Virtual Sex with Jill Kelley’ to my favourite movies.

My favourite movies now reads like a veritable top shelf of adult entertainment… the best bit is of course that all of the movies I’ve added (just for fun) are actually real, so any connoisseur of adult films can smile and nod to themselves when they see my status change.

Facebook

Obviously I’m referring to you, Jay, there. I wouldn’t want to add a fictitious porn movie now would I? I’d be the laughing stock of the seedy smut movie lovers world.

3rd World Hunger? What about my hunger?

Everyone who knows me knows what a caring, sensitive soul I am. I’m all for charities and stuff, such as Cancer against Christians, yet I do take issue when someone’s a bit stingy with the meat.

For example, I was at the Leigh Arms last week for lunch and used their carvery. The chef asked whether I wanted turkey or beef, and naturally I said both (as any hungry chap would) and the git carved the thinest, tiniest slice of turkey I had ever seen, then equaled his skills with the blade when he cut me a sample of beef.

What am I, Kate Moss?

So, I was forced to make up for the lack of sustenance on my plate when it came to helping myself to the vegetables. I piled the plate higher than many thought physically possible, with more food than any one person could hope to eat.

Obviously, I didn’t finish it. In truth I barely made a dent and it took me a while to burrow down far enough to even find the meat.

This prompted many people to comment how I wasn’t thinking about World hunger, starving children in Africa and all that bollocks. Well yes, while I’m sure the food on my plate, and indeed the food I wasted, would have fed a family of nine in Africa, my selecting a few less sausages and roast potatoes doesn’t mean the food I left on the carvery counter was going to be posted to Kenya.

It wasn’t, it would have been eaten by some other glutenous diner, thrown away, or worse yet heated up for the next day. My piling all of that food on my plate simply meant that the Leigh Arms would have to order more Yorkshire puddings the following week.

No African kids would be harmed in the process.

Google turn to the dark side

One of Google’s mottos is “don’t be evil”, meaning they shouldn’t do anything that takes advantage of the user’s quest for information. They shouldn’t abuse their position, cheat with results, that sort of thing.

However, today Google has succumbed to evil and turned to dark side, sort of. Well, they’ve gone black at least.

See for yourself here.

Black Google

Why have Google done this? It’s for something called Earth Hour, and it’s for today only as you can read on Google’s website here.

They’re hoping to raise awareness of how we can conserve energy. Personally I’m off to turn the heating up as it’s a bit cold in here, it’s also stuffy so I might open a window too. Where’s my jumper?

France’s last survivor of WWI dies

Earlier this month, the last remaining survivor of World War I died in France. Lazare Ponticelli was an Italian who decided to ‘fight’ for the French, for some strange reason.

The full story can be read here.

France’s last remaining veteran of World War I died Wednesday at age 110 after outliving 8.4 million Frenchmen who fought in what they called “la Grande Guerre.”

Now, while I think it’s great that someone who was around in WWI is still alive, or was earlier this month, is it really that much of an achievement that a French ‘soldier’ managed to survive so long? Let’s face it, the French didn’t actually do a lot of fighting anyway. The Germans and the British were at it hammer and tongs the whole time, so any of them surviving today is something worth shouting about, but as France’s contribution to war is to eat some cheese, drink some wine, give a Gallic shrug and offer up an extensive collection of finely made white linen in exchange for their flag, any Frenchman surviving isn’t really that surprising.

If  Lazare Ponticelli put as much effort into war as his adopted countrymen then he was always going to last a good few years.

As for why an Italian would choose to fight for France, that’s a whole other ball game.

James Welch interview at SES on Webmaster Radio

Lucky puppy James Welch headed over to New York on St Patrick’s day week for the Search Engine Strategies conference. As well as giving a talk as one of the registered speakers he was interviewed on every SEO’s favourite radio station, Webmaster Radio.

You can listen to the interview here, though he is introduced as James Walsh for for some reason.

American’s eh? Considering he was also called ‘dude’ during the interview, James Walsh isn’t bad for someone from Stoke.

So much anger, so little time