The War is Cancelled

This is one of the most moving speeches in motion picture history, and one I know word for word. Jean Claude Van Damme as Guile in Streetfighter, addressing his ‘troopers’ is a speech I would shout as loudly as possible, when pissed in Newport at University.

Behold the majesty of JCVD, after me… Troopers, I’ve just received new orders!

You need to a flashplayer enabled browser to view this YouTube video

Idiots on Facebook

I have to confess, I quite like Facebook. It’s devoid of the level of morons that MySpace is infected with, but there are still the odd few. For example, how many of you have received messages from ‘friends’ on Facebook along the lines of this one?

Facebook is going to clear facebook accounts if ..

We all know that Facebook is an extraordinary social network where you can talk to friends, find old friends, and so much more.

The Facebook team is well aware that Facebook is getting too over populated due to the fact registrations have increased 50% since February 15 2008. At there signing in database, it shows that more than a quarter of the members of Facebook hasn’t log in their accounts in over a month.

So where is this leading to you may ask. Facebook is clearing their entire data base and deleting users of who have not sent this message to their friends. If you are one of the following people, you will get your user account wiped and would have to re add all your friends. So send this message to as many of your friends as you can, I know you don’t want to start all over from scratch so send away, show your pride for members Facebook!

– Irin rayiz

Now, just how stupid have you got to be to forward that? There are also groups along similar themes, and the MySpace crowd who are new to Facebook always seem to be the ones who join them.

If you get sent a message like that on Facebook, don’t forward it, delete it. I certainly don’t want to be sent it!

Hoax phone calls

I received two calls last night from an ‘unknown number’ and when I answered they hung up both times. This is fairly common for me, as being the person that I am and running the websites that I do I make a lot of enemies.

Naturally when I received TWO calls from an unknown number and they both hung up my ‘digital ears’ started to burn. This always means that somewhere, on a forum, there is a discussion going on among idiots about how I’ve somehow insulted them and how they’ll get me back by crank calling me. They’ll have posted my contact details from the Whois on one of my sites and will think it’s hilarious that they’re phoning me and hanging up.

So, whoever you are this time, don’t hang up. You have my number, grow some testicles and say something on the phone. Better yet, don’t withold your number. Let’s have a chat and see what intelligent comments you’ve got to share. You might even make one of my famed podcasts.

Microsoft Word pisses me off on a daily basis

In my work I have the misfortune to use Microsoft Word on a daily basis, it’s unavoidable. Why is this so bad? Because Word is the Devil’s program designed by Satan himself.

For example, when writing or editing a document and the language is set English US (as seems to be default no matter how many times you change it) it rightly flags up English spellings of words as being incorrect. Words such as “Customise” and “Optimise” in their English UK spellings are underlined in red.

That’s all fine, had I wanted to write in the illiterate Yankee language, that would be indeed wrong. However when you change the language to the correct English UK you would expect the American spellings, with the letter ‘Z’, to be flagged up as being wrong.

You’d be wrong.

Microsoft Word, in its infinite wisdom, says the spelling with a ‘Z’ or an ‘S’ is fine. It lets the Yank spelling through. Why? Because it’s a twat that’s why. You then have to read through each word very carefully to check that the spelling is correct, because Word is a lying bastard.

Get Bill Gates in here!

Mr Daz on TV again

Last week I was watching channel five late at night when I came across the show ‘Eighties Greatest TV Moments’. I remembered actually filming an interview for the show, but had never seen it, so I watched the whole thing. As the countdown went into the last few I thought my clip wasn’t going to be on, but I was shocked to see I was, and at #2!

I didn’t record it as I didn’t even know it was on. Luckily someone else did, and I found it on YouTube. Have a look at this video, I’m about 5 minutes 30 seconds in.

You need to a flashplayer enabled browser to view this YouTube video

Car insurance renewal from Direct Line

I was certain that my MOT certificate was due for renewal very soon, so I dug around to find it today. It took me a while as I’m not that organised (it was in a bag, in a cupboard in the kitchen) and luckily I found that it’s OK until November. Great stuff.

However my car insurance certificate was there as well, from Direct Line. Now I’ve been expecting a renewal letter any day now because I knew it was about this time last year I insured the car, but I’ve not had one. Lucky I found this letter then, cos my car insurance was due TOMORROW!

Thanks Direct Line, you useless bastards. No renewal notice, no letter, nothing. I’d have driven to work Tuesday, blissfully unaware that my car wasn’t insured.

That was the final straw, I’ve gone with someone else now online. Direct Line were still quite cheap (for someone of my glittering history at least) but the fact that they don’t do anything when you need them to is something of a let down.

My last claim for example, when someone reversed into me, is still in limbo because Direct Line haven’t bothered to do anything. I know they haven’t approached the security booth in the car park where the guy hit me because I’ve been there and asked.

So don’t bother with Direct Line, they just take your money and keep it.