Monthly Archives: March 2010

Home Delivery Network, Humour, Internet

Man applies for HDNL job with MrDaz.com

4 Comments

Some people were just born to be stupid. It’s in their genes. No amount of education, training or time can divert them off the path of utter moronic dedication. Interestingly, most of these people seem to work for Home Delivery Network – at least if the comments on this blog are anything to go by.

So how does HDNL manage to find so many racist, aggressive, hate filled people to work for them – many of whom are happy to spend their down time reading this website and insulting customers? You may be surprised to know that these utter dredges of society seek out HDNL in the first place; at least, the ones who are able to find HDNL do so anyway.

Some of them fail even that simple act of navigation (which in an ironic twist, you’d think would make them the perfect delivery drivers?).

This evening I received an email through this website from someone wanting to apply to be a delivery driver with Home Delivery Network.

I shit you not.

Presumably after Googling for HDNL they found this website, as so many of you have done too, but rather than realise that this is in fact a blog (one that used to be about SEO and Internet Marketing, but happily lost its way many years ago) this idiot of epic proportions believed MrDaz.com to be Home Delivery Network’s website…

I know, I was shocked too.

This is his application:

Sender: ali
Subject: Mr Daz Enquiry: driver
On 25 March 2010 at 19:25

i have full uk drinen license over 16 yrs also it is clean,i am looking for delivery job

Well… he sounds ideal. He can’t spell, string a sentence together or even find HDNL in the first place – he should be perfect for the role. Snap him up now I say!

Humour, Internet, SEO

Angry people looking for Mr Daz

3 Comments

Now, I realise I do tend to offend people from time to time. I can’t help it, I just speak up about things that bother me and that tends to bother other people. HDNL drivers, Carphone Warehouse employees, chav scum – they’ve all been angered by me in the past. It’s something I’m comfortable with.

However, I was still a little surprised to see how many people have found this website by searching for Mr Daz specifically… and in case you think it might be another Mr Daz, check out some of the search phrases that people have been using – in order of popularity:

mr daz
mrdaz
mr daz csa
mr daz is a wanker
mr daz computeach
mr daz home delivery hdnl
daz on hotmail
mr daz is a prick
usability before seo and ppc mrdaz
mr daz hdnl
mrdaz insults
mr daz.com
csa mr daz

Who are these people?

I particularly like the ‘mrdaz insults’ – it’s given me an idea for a blog, and possibly a book. The little book of Mr Daz insults: for that time when your own vocabulary leaves you devoid of a cutting vitriol.

Complaints, Internet, Rants

123-Reg Complaints

39 Comments

I’ve had more than my fair share of problems with hosting companies over the years. Nothing will ever quite compare the morons at Fasthosts, who I have never used since in any capacity (for any company I have worked for) after they switched off one of my websites on a Friday afternoon and sodded off home for the weekend. But that rant is for another time, today I’d like to talk about 123-Reg – who I use for domain registrations.

I wanted to update my card details this month, a task which should have been fairly straight forward – except when I tried the form didn’t work, insisting there was something wrong with the card. After trying several times I contacted their customer support department where, had I known how utterly retarded they were, I wouldn’t have bothered. Here was my first message:

Account Owner
02/03/2010 17:07:54

I have tried several times to update my credit card details only to be told there is a problem with them. I know there is not because I use the card quite a lot, it’s a business card. I’m getting quite fed up with it and I have domains due in April.

Please sort this out because it’s very annoying.

What is also annoying is that when I went to submit this form it asked me for the ‘domain’… it’s not about a domain, it’s a billing question. No wonder your forms aren’t working properly, they haven’t been coded correctly.

So – not only did the credit card form not work, the support form insisted I reference a specific domain name when it clearly wasn’t about a domain. Some simple user testing wouldn’t go amiss on their website. I received a response from ‘Nick’.

Support Agent
Nick
02/03/2010 17:30:58

Dear Darren,

Thank you for contacting 123-reg on the 02nd March 2010.

I can confirm that the error message for your transaction is appearing because the billing address entered in your payment process does not match the address that your bank account is registered to. Please ensure that this matches when trying to make the payment again. Please note that stringent security checks are put in place on our payment processes for fraud prevention purposes. Apologies for any inconvenience caused.

If we can be of any further help with regard to this or any other matter, please do not hesitate to contact us.
Kind Regards

Nick
123-reg

This was annoying – because their ‘address’ field consisted of a series of text boxes with address line 1, address line 2 etc on them – no real indication as to what fields were required. I attempted to clarify this with Nick.

Account Owner
02/03/2010 17:41:08

Thanks for the update

Could you point me in the right direction of what the fields ‘Address line 1:’ etc are supposed to refer to seeing as it needs to be an exact match with what is stored with the bank? Perhaps City, County etc might be a better label for the fields so that we know what part of the address is supposed to go in which field?

A simple question, but sadly it was picked up by an even simpler person, called Kristy. This is what I really hate about customer service people – sometimes they don’t even read the question and just submit the stock answer. I may as well have clicked on a random link in the FAQ for the help this bint was:

Support Agent
Kristy
03/03/2010 12:11:55

Dear Darren,

Thank you for contacting 123-reg on the 02nd March 2010.

If your account email address is wrong or your details need updating you can change these by doing the following.

1) Login to your 123-reg control panel.
2) Scroll down to the section titled ‘Account management’.
3) Click ‘Update personal information’.

All fields need to match the exact billing address of the card/

If we can be of any further help with regard to this or any other matter, please do not hesitate to contact us.
Kind Regards

Kristy
123-reg

That angered me, as you can probably imagine…

Account Owner
03/03/2010 12:45:53

You didn’t read the question did you?

Please read the question before replying…

This time Lewis picked up the batten, and at least he gave it a good effort.

Support Agent
Lewis
03/03/2010 14:22:37

Dear Darren,

Thank you for contacting 123-reg on the 03rd March 2010.

When the card details are processed we check the first line of address and the postcode.

I have checked your account and no postcode is listed. Ensure the card billing address is registered to the address below.

*****
UK

If we can be of any further help with regard to this or any other matter, please do not hesitate to contact us.
Kind Regards

Lewis
123-reg

No postcode? Firstly, pretty sure I entered one and secondly it should be mandatory anyway? Checked the form again – after Lewis had ‘mentioned’ the postcode thing and yeah, my browser shows I definitely entered one.

Account Owner
03/03/2010 15:30:00

No Postcode is listed?

That’s funny because my browser history shows that I have entered one, and have entered one each time I have attempted to update the card details.

Maybe I’ll try again, maybe I’ll just give up and use another registrar. Haven’t decided yet. Full marks for actually reading the question though, that’s more than Kristy managed. Perhaps she’s having an off day?

Then, just to completely piss me off – another moron chimed in having completely ignored everything that had been written so far. This guy, Ray, was asking for a verbal volley.

Support Agent
Ray
05/03/2010 12:19:18

Dear Darren,

Thank you for contacting 123-reg on the 03rd March 2010.

We check the address on your 123-reg user account and the address that the bank hold for your card.

If your account email address is wrong or your details need updating you can change these by doing the following.

1) Login to your 123-reg control panel.
2) Scroll down to the section titled ‘Account management’.
3) Click ‘Update personal information’.

From here you can change any of the details for your 123-reg account. Please note that any alterations made here will not change domain name registration details, they will simply update the 123-reg database.

If we can be of any further help with regard to this or any other matter, please do not hesitate to contact us.
Kind Regards

Ray
123-reg

Ray got just what he asked for in my opinion…

Account Owner
05/03/2010 12:28:30

I’m amazed at the way you guys just copy and paste your stock responses into this system without reading a single word of the original question. I give up. Truly. I’ve known some bad customer service in my time, NTL and BT being very high on the list, but at least they actually know what you’re asking before they ignore you. You guys aren’t even concerned with that.

Amazing, really. Full marks.

This got Kristy’s attention – and she decided to check that the issue had been resolved.

Support Agent
Kristy
08/03/2010 16:32:04

Dear Darren,

Thank you for contacting 123-reg on the 05th March 2010.

Please can you confirm that you are still having an issue?

If we can be of any further help with regard to this or any other matter, please do not hesitate to contact us.
Kind Regards

Kristy
123-reg

After trying for what had to go down as the last time, the form worked. Perhaps one of their developers was made aware of the issue at long last?

Account Owner
08/03/2010 16:34:53

Magically it seems to work now. Correct something on the form did we? Looks to me as though the postcode field wasn’t labelled correctly last time.

And then Kristy mopped up, closing the support ticket.

Support Agent
Kristy
08/03/2010 16:45:12

Dear Darren,

Thank you for contacting 123-reg on the 08th March 2010.

Sorry for the inconvenience this caused you.

If we can be of any further help with regard to this or any other matter, please do not hesitate to contact us.
Kind Regards

Kristy
123-reg

Why couldn’t this have all been done first time round? Why did it take 3 different support agents to solve a very simple problem? I’ll know next time not to bother with 123-Reg’s support, they’re imbeciles.

Google, Internet, SEO

Flakelet.com reply about duplicate content

13 Comments

It seems I was wrong and the marketing monkeys at Flakelet.com did reply – and with an explanation on how duplicate content works and that I have nothing to worry about! I can go on my merry way copying their articles and pasting them on my site, and Google won’t care a jot – at least according to Ms. Weng Lopez. Here is what she said:

Hi Darren,

Thanks for replying. For details, you can browse the database of our articles at www.flakelet.com, where you can also learn more about how we work.

For concerns about duplicate content here are two reasons:

1. Duplicate content is an issue only when present on your own site (and that kind of duplicate content could cause some serious trouble for you). But, Google won’t punish you for reprinting other peoples’ content and they routinely index duplicate content pages, without a problem. You can easily check this by Googling a random article title from an article directory, such as EzineArticles.com. More often than not, you will find that multiple copies of the same article exist in Google’s index.

Why yes, if you search for a specific article title then you will find the sites where that article has been used. Naturally – if Google didn’t show you the sites where it had been used, it wouldn’t be of much use as a search engine. However, if I searched for phrases relating to that article I would NOT find each of those pages, all being duplicates of each other.

Google won’t punish you for copying content? I happen to think that’s about as inaccurate as you can get. Good luck with that Ms. Weng Lopez.

She continued:

2. We don’t require you to republish our articles “as is.” In fact, you can change them as much (or as little) as you wish and you will own the copyright. In our experience, it’s enough for Google to consider a page unique, if it has a unique title and a meta description. By adding a short 1-2 sentence introduction at the beginning, you should be more than covered.

“In our experience, it’s enough for Google to consider a page unique, if it has a unique title and a meta description.” …erm… no. A world of no, and once again, just in case I’ve not made myself perfectly clear, no.

Btw, we will be covering the issue of duplicate content in detail in our community, which is another good reason for joining. If you are interested, just follow this link http://flakelet.com/wp-register.php and register with the following invitation code: w4507l .

Should you have any questions, please do not hesitate to contact me again.

Best regards,

Ms. Weng Lopez
weng.lopez@mikino.com
www.flakelet.com

Now I have to admit, I am curious as to what they’re going to say about duplicate content – merely because I need a good laugh and don’t often get chuckles on an SEO front – since I stopped visiting the forums at SEOchat at least.

However, I think I’ll leave this be for now… although I can feel the urge to reply coming on.

CSA, Internet, SEO

Flakelet.com

15 Comments

I’ve been running various websites online now for, well, forever really. I think it goes back to 1998 somewhere, my memory fails me. The point is that I’m fairly web savvy and I know when a website looks suspect.

Due to running so many websites I’ve also had numerous emails over the years from affiliate networks, potential sponsors and various companies who have wanted me to sign up or advertise their products.

Many of which are genuine affiliate networks, many of which are not.

Again, I feel I’m pretty good at telling which are the genuine ones, and which are the spam emails destined for the deleted items folder. Yesterday however I had one email that I just couldn’t bring myself to delete, so blasé was it about its ‘free’ service to me.

Have a read of this:

From: Weng Lopez
Subject: Re: CSA Hell: Re: your site, www.csahell.com

Hi,

I just want you to know that your site meets our criteria and we would like to sponsor it. The membership is free but only the top-notch sites are allowed.

What’s in it for you:

– Placement in an exclusive “Best of Content-Oriented Web sites” directory.
– Free content for your site, written around your topics by our in-house writers.
– Promotion of your site across our networks of 2,000+ of blogs.
– Marketing tools developed exclusively for our members to help you drive more traffic.
– Expert advice on search engine optimization (SEO), content development, monetization, conversions, etc. to make the most of what you’ve got.
– Participation in our community support forums.
– …and more.

Note that none of these benefits are available to non-members, it is an invitation-only community for webmasters. So, if any of the above appeals to you and if you’d like an invitation, please let me know. I will send you more details.

Looking forward to hearing from you!

Best regards,

Weng Lopez
weng.lopez@mikino.com
www.flakelet.com

I so nearly deleted it… but instead felt a compelling urge to reply, especially after I had a quick look at their website and saw what a dodgy Facebook knockoff it was.

Here is what I wrote:

So, if I understand this correctly – you want to place content on my site, with links to your sponsors, without paying me for it and have advertised this as being a free service to me?

I can see what you get out of it – websites willing to post your content promoting your sponsors, but I don’t seem to get anything out of it all. Your website seems to be using the same design as Facebook (I’m sure that’s a coincidence) and has no PR, meaning it’s fairly new or has been penalised.

In addition, should I place your content on my website I would be penalised by Google for duplicate content AND for selling links, even though I wouldn’t actually have received any money for them.

Perhaps I’ve missed something? Do let me know if I have.

Regards
Darren

I doubt I’ll get a reply back – but seriously, if anyone gets an email from these jokers, the ‘free’ membership that allows you to promote their clients without any charge to yourself isn’t the best deal you’ll find online.

General, Internet

Looking for a pedestal desk

2 Comments

Those who know me will know that I can be fairly superficial, but I choose to look upon that as having good taste. For example, I’ve wanted to own a decent desk from which to work for years, as I’ve always made do with cheaper, flat-pack rubbish (usually from Argos). There’s nothing worse than your entire desk shaking when the printer is running, knowing that the screws are working themselves loose with every pass of the printer cartridge.

I have looked for a decent pedestal desk a few times, trying new furniture shops mainly, but haven’t found anything that I like. It has to be old, preferably Victorian, and come with a suitably regal captain’s chair – although I know from trying them out that captains’ chairs aren’t that comfortable.

I’m going to start looking again soon, so that I can get rid of my latest flat-pack job from Argos, and will be starting with eBay and antique dealers around my local area, such as Manchester and Lancashire.

Hopefully, thanks to the power of the Internet, I won’t have to look for long before I find the perfect antique desk in Lancashire, close enough to have one delivered and cheap enough that it doesn’t break the bank. Quality is important, but as I’ve seen them online for well over £4,000 I may yet end up disappointed.

This is the type of antique desk that I’m looking for, so hopefully I’ll find one within budget. I can just see myself sat at this, sipping wine while annoying people online in a professional capacity.