My sister had her car tyres slashed this week, while her Corsa (shit car, I know) was parked outside her house. She said every car in the street was done, about 30 in total, and when she called the police guess what they did.

Go on, guess…

If you said “Leap into action and get staight over there” you’re a twat. Oh no, the correct answer is: “Absolutely fuck all”.

That’s right, our taxes pay for these retards to do nothing, zip, scratch their balls and watch TV, etc, etc.

They said, and this is priceless, as there were so many crimes at once if they came out they’d be there all night. And the award for reaching new heights in incompetance goes to… Newport police.

Well done guys, you’ve amazed even me in my cynical life. I didn’t think the police could be quite that useless, but there you go.

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I’ve just had a final demand from the Inland Revenue, saying I’ve got until January 31st to pay my income tax.

But I haven’t had a total from them yet???

Seems they’ve lost my form. I sent the damn thing by the end of September so they could calculate it for me, and they’ve gone and lost it – the ueseless tossers. Now they’ll expect me to do it all again, what’s the frickin point eh? You do it all by the book, legit like, and they screw it up. If they’re this incompetant, why do I even bother with it?

Once again, I sign off a blog with the word, morons.

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I just popped into Tesco’s for a loaf of bread, which is ironic in itself as I make liberal use of its 30 minute free car park every day for 8 hours when I’m in work – I just so happened to ALSO go to Tesco today.

My bread in hand I ambled up to the tills, where they’d had 2 new ‘self service’ tills installed. One guy on the till, no queue; shouldn’t be a problem here then eh? I walked up to him, only to notice what could only be described as a spotty oik in a Tesco uniform squatting in front of the till pissing about with some magazines. He didn’t fancy moving, so looked up at me and uttered those teeth grinding words: “Do you want to use the self service till?”.

No, I fucking well wouldn’t! I didn’t graduate from university just to operate a till like some retarded shop twat. Take my fucking bread and ring it up, lest you’ll be replaced by the self service till and be forced to sign on to pay for those car mods you prize so heavily. Prick.

What use are these morons if they can’t even be arsed to do their own jobs? I’d complain to Tesco if I thought they’d give a flying toss, but of course they wouldn’t, so I’ll just keep using their free parking every day.

Morons.

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I drove to Leeds on the weekend, which meant travelling on the M1 for the first time. This wouldn’t have been a problem, except for the fact that Yorkshire drivers seem unwilling, nay unable to change lanes… ever. It’s as if they’re refusing to change their lifestyle, or move their house when those London types want to regenerate the area.

The bastards just stay in the outside lane, dawdling along at 70MPH, completely ignorant of the fact that you’re supposed to keep left. The inside two lanes were largely empty, meaning I kept getting stuck behind these thick as pig shit drivers just blocking the road. Naturally, undertaking was rife – and not just by me.

It seems as though they’re all content with undertaking, as though it were normal. Why on Earth couldn’t the sods just move over? When you have a car coming up behind you at around 90-110MPH, and you’re doing 70 in the outside lane, you move over. No decision to make, no change in lifestyle, just get out of the frickin’ way.

Not the Yorkshire drivers through Sheffield and Barnsley. They refuse to move, which is ignorant and dangerous.

Needless to say when I came home I took the M6 instead, which was used by the more metropolitan Mancunians and Brummies, who understand the concept of Motorway travel. I’m not using the M1 ever again, it’s full of morons.

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