Category Archives: Rants

Rants, Transformers

Don Murphy is a TWAT

5 Comments

Way back in June 2006 the movie producer Don Murphy announced on his forum that I was a c*nt and that he’d close down my website www.transformersthemovie.com. Some 7 months later, and quite naturally, he has done nothing.

You see, as I tried to explain to the short, fat walrus at the time – TransformersTheMovie.com has been approved by Paramount, and indeed supported by them to help promote the Michael Bay movie Transformers, due out on July 4th. He didn’t understand this, and said my site would be shut down. His legion of ‘stooges’, or morons who like to hang on his every word, rallied to his flag as always, baying for my blood with cries of ‘bye bye monkey’ and the like.

But again, TransformersTheMovie.com is still there.

The funny thing was, no matter how many times I explained it to them, they ignored the facts and proceeded to launch a vitriol against me calling me a theif, a c*nt and such forth – insisting that Don was the messiah and I was the antichrist. My site would be shut down.

Well, to all you ‘stooges’ and to Don himself, come on you wankers – let’s have it!

Rants

A prick up my ass?

Leave a comment

Some prick only went and rammed into the back of my car last night.

There I was, driving along through the country lanes, following some tosshole towing a car at an average speed of 15mph, who refused to pull over and let the stream of several hundred cars past him (total of cars has been exagerated for dramatic effect) when some knob jockey slams into my ass.

Quite a jolt too, but somehow my car doesn’t even have a scratch on it. His Fiat had a severly squashed headlight, but mine looks just like new – bar the several layers of caked on dirt of course.

He was nice enough in fairness, lucky it wasn’t an X5 or a Landcrusier I guess. Then I’d have had some marks on my car.

Rants

No cover, no deal

Leave a comment

I recently tried to buy a personal PC / mobile phone so I could work on the go, and emailed Dell on their website to find out about WIFI access on one of their products.

No response from them, naturally.

I emailed again, still no response – so I bought one in PC World.

Now, I foolishly tried to order a laptop from them as well, so phoned them this time. They said I couldn’t get it before Christmas, so I said I wasn’t interested – at which point they changed their mind and said they could fast track it. The salesman (who had a limited grasp of the dialect) tried to sell me some extra cover, to which I refused.

He didn’t like this, he then put me on hold and promptly hung up – the twat.

Seems if you don’t buy cover from Dell, they don’t get much commission, so aren’t interested in speaking to you. Last time I’ll be using those arseholes.

Rants

Tesco can’t be arsed again

3 Comments

I don’t believe it, for the second time in as many weeks I get some oik in Tesco telling me to use the self service till.

Now, if I wanted to operate tills when I enter a shop I’d have slacked off in school to such a degree that working in a tesco express was the highest achievement I could hope for. However, I don’t and I didn’t.

When I go into a shop, that has staff, is it too much to ask that the lazy fuckwits actually do the job they’re paid minimum wage for? I am not using the chavmaster 2000 self shoplift till, I expect someone to actually serve me.

If Tesco think they’re going to phase out tills in their shops, they can do so without my cash injection. Tossholes.

Internet, Rants

Don’t panic, everything’s ok says 1and1

Leave a comment

For the last few days I, like many thousands of people have been experiencing problems with my email through my hosting company 1and1 Internet.

Luckily, 1and1 says the problems are all sorted, the following is taken from Internet nerd news site The Register:

Yesterday, a number of UK customers experienced some delay in receiving inbound email. The delay was due to a surge in email volumes over our email servers. Our email system continued to receive all email during this time, with only its delivery to inboxes being delayed.

The email delay was handled according to set procedure, emails were queued and stored and no email was lost during this time.

The technical issue was resolved and all emails involved are being delivered safely. Only 1&1 email users were affected.

We sincerely apologise for any inconvenience caused to our customers due to the queuing of emails.

Today, 1&1’s UK Customer Control Panel was temporarily unavailable for a very short time whilst systems were maintained.

Well that’s nice to know isn’t it? Now, when I fail miserably to get my email I can take comfort in the fact 1and1 says everything’s hunky fucking dory.

Of course, it’s not. It still doesn’t sodding work, so their sticking their heads in the sand doesn’t make the problem go away. 1and1, get it sorted you muppets.

Humour, Rants

France becoming part of Great Britain?

Leave a comment

So it seems that in 1950 France wanted to unify with Great Britain. I’ve just been asked how I feel about that.

Well, it wouldn’t be so bad so long as there were a few provisos. We could have a new, unified name to display the unity between the two Countries. Something like ‘Great Britain’ would suffice. Then of course we’d need one single currency, something which many Brits are unsure of, but if we called it ‘The Pound’ for example I’m sure they’d come round.

We’d also need a single language to help the trade between us, English has a nice ring to it, we can use that. Finally we’d need a flag, something which embodies the Union Flag of the British Isles, and the White flag of French Surrendership… that’s it, I can’t entertain this crap any more! The bloody cheese eating, sheep burning, wine guzzling, Nazi collaborating surrender monkeys unifying with us???

The bloody cheek of it. Non monsier.

You snobby bastards were offered the chance by Churchill back in 1940 as the Bosch were trampling through your vineyards, and you shrugged your Gallic shoulders and turned tail to the Germans, then you’ve the bloody cheek to ask for it ten years later.

I need to lay down.

Rants

How useless are the police, really?

Leave a comment

My sister had her car tyres slashed this week, while her Corsa (shit car, I know) was parked outside her house. She said every car in the street was done, about 30 in total, and when she called the police guess what they did.

Go on, guess…

If you said “Leap into action and get staight over there” you’re a twat. Oh no, the correct answer is: “Absolutely fuck all”.

That’s right, our taxes pay for these retards to do nothing, zip, scratch their balls and watch TV, etc, etc.

They said, and this is priceless, as there were so many crimes at once if they came out they’d be there all night. And the award for reaching new heights in incompetance goes to… Newport police.

Well done guys, you’ve amazed even me in my cynical life. I didn’t think the police could be quite that useless, but there you go.

Rants

Inland Revenue are a bunch of tossers

Leave a comment

I’ve just had a final demand from the Inland Revenue, saying I’ve got until January 31st to pay my income tax.

But I haven’t had a total from them yet???

Seems they’ve lost my form. I sent the damn thing by the end of September so they could calculate it for me, and they’ve gone and lost it – the ueseless tossers. Now they’ll expect me to do it all again, what’s the frickin point eh? You do it all by the book, legit like, and they screw it up. If they’re this incompetant, why do I even bother with it?

Once again, I sign off a blog with the word, morons.