Category Archives: Humour

Humour, Movies, Rants

Mr Daz phones the police: The Video

1 Comment

You’ve waited a long time for this, and the wait is finally over. Presenting the video of when I telephoned the police from outside the house of my ex wife’s father in an effort to get them off their arse and actually come out to retrieve my property, as they said they would do a week before.

This was originally posted some time back as a podcast, but now you can actually watch the full motion video of the event.

This video will be followed shortly by the main event of me attempting to break into my house with a crowbar and then having to deal with the police, who did eventually turn up.

That’s for later though, for now, watch the video. If you like it, post a comment or share it with friends!

You need to a flashplayer enabled browser to view this YouTube video

Humour

Schools tell parents their kids are fat

Leave a comment

It was revealed yesterday that plans are afoot for UK schools to give the parents of over weight kids a letter telling them they are fat.

I’m wondering if this has been thought through properly. I mean, first off how demoralising would that be for the kids? The teacher gives them a letter to hand to their parents that reads something like:

Dear Mr and Mrs Lucking,

It has come to our attention that your child Adam is fat. Please stop feeding him chips.

Regards,

Stoke Comprehensive

So you see? That’s not going to fill the kid with confidence. Secondly, do they not think the parents are aware their kids are fat? Where do they think all the pies are going?

Stupid bloody government idea.

Humour

Woman seeks man with lots of money

2 Comments

We all know women are only after men with cash, it’s the way of the world, but most try to hide that fact. How refreshing then that a 25 year old New York woman posted an ad for a man with a $500,000 income. The woman described herself as ‘spectacularly beautiful’ and was looking for someone who could offer her a Central Park West address.

You can read the full story here.

Now if she’s looking for a highly fertile guy with a large collection of comics and Transformers, I think I can help. As for a $500,000 income? With the current value of the dollar, that ain’t that much sweetheart.

Humour, Rants

Blog Action Day: Save the Cyclists

Leave a comment

As yesterday was Blog Action Day, where bloggers are encouraged to blog about ways they’d do their bit for the environment, here’s my suggestion, albeit late and against what Blog Action Day is all about.

I heard on Radio 5 this morning on my way into work that the all powerful government in the UK are considering reducing the speed limit in city centres and built up areas to 20mph. The reason for this genius idea is that the death tolls on the UK’s roads have been falling year on year, but the fall has slowed this last year. The thinking being that if we all drive at 20mph we’ll help save more lives, in particular cyclists…

hmm, how do I feel about that?

Fuck the cyclists. They’re the reason there’s congestion around where I currently work and live. You get mile upon mile of tailbacks through the country lanes and narrow roads as all of the cars follow some fat guy puffing away trying to get his ‘racer’ up a hill as he sways from side to side, oblivious of the delay he’s causing.

Save more cyclists? I say increase the speed limits and offer rewards to drivers who maim and kill cyclists. Aim for the bastards, not slow down to save them.