Category Archives: Humour

Humour, Internet

Scott Newham Drives a Gay Saxo

9 Comments

About a year ago now I received some attempts at threatening phone calls from some pre-pubescent Citroen Saxo drivers such as Jezpick and Scott Newham. I’d forgotten all about Scott until I noticed someone had found my website by searching Google for ‘scott newham saxo’… Why I don’t know. I’m sure they found what they wanted though.

Scott NewhamAnyhow, this little to-rag (pictured right) made several phone calls to me in an effort to put the ‘frighteners’ on me. As you can see, he is indeed very scary.

I was petrified.

The cause of all of this tomfoolery was the chav car website YouCarIsShit.com and the glut of Citroen Saxo photographs uploaded by outraged members of the public.

Why this post? Two reasons. Firstly to publically expose Scott and to piss him off (Hi Scott) and secondly to announce a new feature coming to YourCarIsShit.com very soon – Chav Drivers Exposed!

That’s right, we’ll be posting up photos of the chavs who’ve emailed us, phoned us and made comments defending their ‘pimped up rides’.

Look forward to that one, Scott will figure of course…

Humour, Internet, SEO

Bizare searches that bring traffic

Leave a comment

I was just looking through the stats on some of my websites and came across what I thought to be the oddest Yahoo search yet to lead someone to one of my websites. Incredibly, a Yahoo search for the phrase ‘fuck off you c*nt‘ lead someone to find my chav bashing site www.YourCarIsShit.com.

I wonder what the person searching was actually hoping to find.

This shows the value of allowing comments on your website though. No matter how infantile the comments, they all help your long tail search queries.

Direct Line Insurance, Humour, Stolen Car

Direct Line Insurance ask if I want to renew

Leave a comment

This is quite extraordinary, and the timing is impeccable. I’ve just received an email from Direct Line Insurance asking if I’d like to renew my ex wife’s car insurance with them.

Direct Line email

Let me think for a second… erm, no. No thank you. It’s ironic isn’t it. They pay the wrong person for my car when it is stolen, insist they did nothing wrong and even con me into giving them my V5… then they ask if I’d like to use them for insurance on my ex-wife’s car?

Chris Moat, you run a tight ship there at Direct Line Insurance. Luckily with MrDaz.com now page 1 on google.co.uk for your name people will start to see just what happens when you insure with Direct Line.

We’ll be #1 soon Chris. Better do something.

Humour, Internet, Rants

Banned from the Skyline Owners forum

9 Comments

I tried to communicate with the Skyline Owners Forum people at their forum but sadly received this message after trying to post:

You have been banned for the following reason:
Cock sucker.

Date the ban will be lifted: Never

Which to be honest is quite amusing. I also tried to explain to the seemingly backward thinking people that posting up someone’s contact details and prompting others to make threatening phone calls is illegal, as has already happened on saxperience last year, and this was the reply:

Here is another suggestion, why don’t you shut the **** up you sad pathetic little prick. Do you honestly think for one second that the threat of Police or approaching th hosting company gives any weight to anything you say?

Honestly, they will take you about as seriously as when your girlfriend says “It doesn’t matter, it happens to ALL men”

Nothing illegal has been said or done, in fact, you are more likely to be done for supporting defamation through your website, so I suggest you shut the fuk up and piss off back to your cave you hobbit.

Can’t say I didn’t try. Mind you I do seem to bring this on myself as some of the sites I run depend on this kind of controversy. If it weren’t for morons like this I wouldn’t be as successful as I am now.

Thanks Skyline Owners Forum. You guys are a real hoot.

Humour, Internet

I’ve pissed off another car website

10 Comments

If you remember last year I managed to piss off the wankers at saxperience.com when some Nottingham based chav twat named Jezpick telephoned me and threatened to ‘fuck me up’.

Here’s Jezpick in case you’re wondering just how scared I was at this monkey.

Jezpick

Naturally the little cock sucker wouldn’t reply to me when I contacted him back, and I’m still waiting now.

This time however it seems I’ve managed to piss off a Nissan Skyline website. How? Same old same old. When Jezpick was outraged it was because my website Your Car Is Shit was taking the royal piss out of Citroen Saxos, and quite rightly too – they’re shit. This time someone has uploaded a Nissan Skyline, which has pissed off the wankers at skylineowners.com.

Now, I’m not saying they’re all wankers. I’m sure some of them are quite nice people. But why can’t they realise that just because someone has uploaded a photo of a Skyline to a shit car website, it doesn’t mean the owner of the website thinks their car is shit. In fact, Skylines are decent cars. Wouldn’t drive one myself mind, bit boy racer like, but they are decent.

Yet, these stupid tosspots once again seem hell bent on posting my name, address and phone number and then phoning me up and refusing to speak when I answer. Here’s the thread. I’ve also saved it for posterity, giggles, evidence – call it what you will.

I notice too that the admin has deleted some aspects of the thread, not before I grabbed it of course. He needs to be careful there, could get in some serious trouble. Some of the shit that was posted on his website was highly illegal. Probably wants to remove the address too, don’t want another saxperience on our hands now do we?

Incidentally, two can play this game: Martin Leonard, 210 Lower Farnham Rd, Aldershot, GU12 4EN, United Kingdom 07949 636520 – the owner of the site. I might just contact Pipex about offensive materials and inciting hatred on a site they host. Might be worth it, haven’t shut a website down for months.