Monthly Archives: December 2007

Humour, Podcasts, Rants

Mr Daz phones Parcel Force

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You might remember the efforts I made in the last week to get a parcel delivered by Parcel Force. They were supposed to phone me back on Monday but couldn’t be arsed.

You might also remember I mentioned how awful their auto voice recognition software was and that I thought I was in a Fonejacker sketch? Well today I phoned them, and just to prove a point I went through their voice recognition system to show how bad it is.

Eventually I got through to what they pass off as a human and to my surprise they had no record once again of me having phoned. This one’s a hoot.

Mr Daz phones Parcel Force [ 6:48 ] Play Now | Play in Popup | Download (828)
Google, Internet, Rants

This site may harm your computer

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My DVD Reviews website, WhatDVD.Net was hacked today, again. This is becoming a habit, and mostly down to the fact that it’s a bloody Windows hosted website. Anyway, that’ll change soon enough, but the fact remains it was hacked and once again I had to restore the database from a back-up.

Problem is, due to the fact that WhatDVD.Net is so successful in Google (Page 1 for ‘DVD Reviews‘) it gets indexed several times a day, and was indexed with the hack in place. Google has read the code on the site and flagged it up as potentially unsafe.

DVD Reviews

The message it flags up is ‘This site may harm your computer’… nice eh? My readers will love that. Considering the traffic WhatDVD.Net gets from Google this is causing quite an effect.

When you try to click through to the site you get this message.

May Harm small

Luckily you can request Google re-evaluates the website through Webmaster tools, but what a load of messing around because of some cock hacking the site. What did it achieve?

Tossers.

Rants

Parcel Force are incompetent, who’d have guessed

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Just  when I thought I couldn’t find another incompetent company, along came the morons at Parcel Force. I ordered an electrical item online last week and missed the delivery at home. I was left with a Parcel Force card saying that my item was in Manchester sorting office, which was miles away from where I live so I phoned them up.

This is where the fun starts. I went through the worst voice recognition software program I’ve ever experienced, it was so bad I was convinced that it was a Fonejacker call. “Please say your house number”

Seventeen… “You said… Sixteen… is this correct?”

Fuck me.

I eventually got through to a human and was assured that my parcel would be delivered to my local Post Office for the next day so I could collect it on Saturday, just now. Guess what? That’s right, it wasn’t there.

I just telephoned them again and some obnoxious Manc woman told me that my parcel hadn’t been sent anywhere and they had no record of my calling them.

Again, this is why I record my phone calls.

She said she could get it sent to my Post Office for Monday, which of course as I WORK is no use to me. That’s why I called them last week so I could collect it today.

I asked if I could have it sent to my work, but alas they won’t send it to an SK10 postcode.

Finally she assured me that a supervisor would phone me on Monday. I seriously doubt that, but we’ll have the old phone recording software on standby just in case.

As for the parcel, I doubt I’ll get that in time for Christmas now. Unlucky, but not unexpected.

General

I share a birthday with Porn Star Taylor Rain

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Taylor RainI just found that my favourite porn star, Taylor Rain, shares a birthday with me. This is fate I tell you, we’re meant to be together.

We were both born on August 16th, though I’m 5 years older. I found this out on Taylor’s Wikipedia page, where I was also sad to learn that she’s retired from the field.

A day of many ups and downs indeed, much like Taylor’s average working day.

Taylor, if you’re reading this (because I know you’re a big fan of MrDaz.com) get in touch now and we’ll get together for lunch sometime. Maybe a joint birthday party in August?

Humour, Rants

Now I can’t say the word Pikey?

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According to the Metro today, ‘Pikey’ is now a race hate word. What’s the bloody world coming to when I can’t call someone a Pikey twat, or a thieving Pikey.

A gardener is thought to have made legal history after being convicted of racially aggravated harassment for using the word ‘pikey’.

Lee Coleman repeatedly used the term, a derogatory reference to gypsies and Travellers, in a drunken outburst over a nightclub entry fee.

This is a sodding outrage. I really feel for the gardener who was obviously victimised for simply stating the truth about some Pikey.

Internet

Domain Registry of America Scam

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Domain Registry of America LogoIf you’ve ever registered a domain name chances are you’ve received a ‘renewal’ notice from the Domain Registry of America. You’ll recognise their renewal notices straight away as they have the Stars and Stripes in the corner to show you how legit they are.

Makes you want to salute doesn’t it?

The trouble is I never registered with these guys, and my betting is neither have you. This ‘renewal’ letter isn’t a renewal at all, it’s a scam. They send out these scam letters en mass to domain registrants hoping they’ll fall for the scam and actually transfer the domains to the DROA. That’s the thing you see, it’s a notice of transfer!

Domain Registry of America LogoIf you fill this in you’ll be giving them control of your domain name and the license to charge you what they like. Because the letter actually says on it that it’s not a renewal it manages to get around little legal issues, but rest assured it is a 100% scam.

When I worked at Meridian Design I had countless clients phone up asking why they’d received expiry notices for their domain names when we were supposed to be handling it. It’s because of these jokers.

If you’ve received one of these things, sling it. Do not fill the form out and reply to it.

I just received one for the domain name mrdaz.com, the dozy cheeky arsed bastards. Not everyone is as stupid to sign over their domains to some scam merchant just because they put a US flag on the letter.

If you do a Google search on the Domain Registry of America you’ll find more information on their underhand, thieving practises.

Affiliate Marketing, Google, Movies

Earn money with YouTube

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As I have several videos on YouTube that have received several thousand views each, and as I have a degree in Film I was quite interested to hear that YouTube now offers a partner program that allows you to earn revenue from the videos you make and upload.

This is great, I can earn money for my fonejacker style videos and any old spoofs I’ve made.

My excitement was tempered slightly however when I read the terms. They are as follows:

  1. You create original videos suitable for online streaming.
    No problem, all of my videos are original and they’ve been streamed on YouTube and Google video for some time now.
  2. You own the copyrights and distribution rights for all audio and video content that you upload — no exceptions.
    Yeah, all of my videos are original. This is all sounding good so far.
  3. You regularly upload videos that are viewed by thousands of YouTube users.
    Again no problem. I’ve had videos with tens of thousands of views each.
  4. You live in the United States or Canada.
    You fuckers. Why restrict this to US and Canadian residents? My videos are watched by people all over the world, where I live is irrelevant.

So you see, once again a great opportunity to make money online is denied the UK public because we’re not Americans. Wake up Google and realise that people live outside of the USA.

Stolen Car

Electric gates close on my car

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Anyone that accuses me of being lucky really has no idea. After getting my BMW back, taking 17 months, the bloody electric gates where I live shut on the fucker this morning.

As I drove towards them they started to shut, usually when this happens the sensors realise there’s something in the way and they stop, and reopen. Not this time. They bloody closed on my car, forcing me to reverse back out with the gate trying to take the front of my car off.

I’ve been here since March now, driving the Celica and a courtesy car and this has never happened. 2 days driving the Z3 and the sodding gates try to crush it.

I swear the car is cursed. Hopefully a bit of T-cut will sort it out, but there’s a very noticeable mark on the driver’s side front wheel arch right now. Great way to start the day!