The BBC has reported how John Gonzalez has been jailed for fraud due to his website mannotincluded.com, which was setup to sell sperm to lesbians.

Nice work if you can get it.

The founder of a website offering sperm to lesbians wanting children has been jailed for 16 months for fraud at Wood Green Crown Court in north London.

Now, what I want to know is what exactly do they mean by ‘fraud’? I know he was doing something dodgy with the cash side of things, but was we committing fraud with the product as well? Were the lesbians provided sour cream instead of love juice? Have any of the lesbians complained?

If you’re a lesbian and you’ve bough some man fat from the Internet, have you been satisfied? Let me know here.

Also, the website has now been switched off by the server, and it’s a PR4 domain… I’ll buy that if John Gonzalez needs a few quid. I’ve thought about selling my offshoots myself.

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OK, so that’s not the actual words Facebook used to Americans and Canadians, but I so rarely see news like this I wanted to put my own slant on it. Usually we see offers and services (like YouTube’s scheme were you earn money for videos you’ve uploaded) that are available to North America and Canada only. This time, it’s the exact reverse, due to the bickering between Hasbro, Mattel and the developers of Scrabulous.

You may remember that Scrabulous is a Scrabble type game (any similarities between Scrabble and Scrabulous are purely coincidental) available to members of Facebook. Both Mattel and Hasbro were narked by the game, because they own the rights to Scrabble (Hasbro in the US and Canada, Mattel in the small market known as the rest of the World).

Rather than take the intelligent, common sense decision and try to buy Scrabulous (and it’s 200,000 registered, targeted userbase) Mattel and Hasbro went all legal and decided to blow air at them. Clever guys, well done.

Now, after the dust has settled, and Scrabulous is still on Facebook and chugging along nicely (my flatmate has been playing it, as he does with every Facebook fad) Mattel, through RealNetworks, have introduced an official version of the game.

Recently, a division of RealNetworks introduced ‘Scrabble by Mattel’ on the leading social networking site. The game is though, technically available only to players outside the US and Canada.

Though of course, because Hasbro aren’t involved it can’t infringe on their copyrights, so is unavailable to US and Canada based residents.

Someone’s gonna have to get to grips with this whole territory thing in relation to the Internet, it just doesn’t work.

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It’s been a while since I’ve received any of those Nigerian email scams that pretend to be from the sons of wealthy land owners whose father’s have been killed by the government, wanting to deposit $200 USD into my bank account. They’re always worth a read for a comical nature of the grammar, and the fact that they’re clearly aimed at Americans… because Americans on the whole, tend to be stupid.

Well, I’ve just had one about Iraq, and this one comes with a website! Brilliant. I love the part of this email where the guy says ‘I am an American’ as though that somehow makes what he says all the more credible.

Twat.

Hello, Greetings to you, I know this might come to you as a surprise, but I want to make two things clear before moving forward. I am not asking you for any money; neither should you think that this is a scam. All I seek from you, is your honesty and sincerity in a business deal that’s going to bring fort mutual benefit worth 50 Million British Pounds. (G.B.P).

I am an American and a member of The U.S. Agency for International Development (USAID), our committee is in charge of contracts awards and payment for all contractors who executes contracts in the rebuilding of Iraq. We are currently in London for the payment of some contractors who executed contracts in Iraq. For more details about our operations visit the website: http://www.rebuild-iraq-expo.com

There was an over draft contract we just discovered for 50 Million GBP and with our influence in this panel we can successfully present you/or your company to claim the above funds. We have agreed to share the money thus: 1. 40% is for You. 2. 60% for us (the officials) Please note that this transaction is 100% risk free and we hope to commence the transfer latest seven (7) banking days from the date of receipt of the above information from you in your next reply. your contact name/company’s name if any, your telephone and fax number(s).

The above information will enable us write letters of claim and job description respectively. This way, we will use your name or company’s name to re-apply for payment and re-award the contract in your company’s name. We are looking forward to doing this business with you and solicit your confidentiality in this transaction.

Thanks. Yours faithfully, Mr Gary Howard Wolf.

Obviously this is a scam, anyone with even half a brain can see that, but I know some people will be falling over themselves to send this guy their details. Hopefully, by pasting this email here anyone caught in two minds will Google Mr Gary Howard Wolf, find this website and realise how stupid they almost were.

I live in hope.

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One of the things I love about Facebook is the mini feeds that appear on your friends’ home page, containing any information about your updates. You can control what aspects of your own page appear in the mini feed, so for example if you don’t want your relationship changes, profile updates or anything else like that to be broadcast to your friends you can filter it out in your privacy settings.

What I like to do however is to have some fun with it. Over the past few months I have been adding random porn movies to my favourite movies section, purely so that they appear in other people’s feeds. For example, the screen shot below shows that I have added ‘Virtual Sex with Jill Kelley’ to my favourite movies.

My favourite movies now reads like a veritable top shelf of adult entertainment… the best bit is of course that all of the movies I’ve added (just for fun) are actually real, so any connoisseur of adult films can smile and nod to themselves when they see my status change.

Obviously I’m referring to you, Jay, there. I wouldn’t want to add a fictitious porn movie now would I? I’d be the laughing stock of the seedy smut movie lovers world.

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