All posts by Simon

Tesco’s in Congleton can’t be arsed to open checkouts

This guest post was written by Simon

I general, I abhor shopping in supermarkets. It is a fairly dull, dreary task, that doesn’t get anymore exciting the more you do it. Shopping when they are busy is even more upsetting. To avoid this scenario, I tend to go into supermarkets, specifically Tesco’s in Congleton, before I get to work, around 7 – 7.20 am. Unsurprisingly, the store is very quiet at this time in the morning, which is exactly how I like it.

However, it is still open for business, at least that was the impression I got from the fact that the store has “24 hour opening”. So I was rather disappointed to find when I got the checkouts this morning, they were all closed. This wasn’t due to the lack of staff available, just an unwillingness to do any work. I was then directed to the “self serve” checkouts by what looked like a checkout supervisor (the supermarket equivalent of a Russian mafia boss).

I hate the self-service checkouts. My objection to self-service checkouts is pretty straightforward. I work a considerable number of hours a week, so I do not want to put in another 10 minutes at Tesco’s grappling with a machine that doesn’t know what a banana is. What annoyed me even more is that there was a checkout assistant on an actual checkout. Instead of being available for customers, she was wiping it down with a cloth, presumably on the off chance that she might have the ingenuity to open it and serve customers in the store.

As if this wasn’t enough, whilst using the self-service checkout, I had another (slightly obese) member of staff point out that my “satsuma’s were not oranges”. Thanks for that information you moron! She then carefully watched me toil with the self-service checkout until the transaction was complete. Instead of watching customers process their own shopping, would it not be more courteous to open a checkout?

The Bridge Pub, Deansgate Manchester

This guest post was brought to you by Simon.

This Saturday I took a trip to the bridge pub in Manchester for lunch. Having dined there before, I felt confident that I had picked a suitable public house for lunch and a few beers. This confidence was misplaced.

Having walked in and seen the dining area rather empty I assumed that there would be no problem getting a table. That was until the barman told me that he would “have to the clean the tables” before we could enter the dining area, this despite there being plenty of unused tables available. Not wanting to quibble and having no objection being sent towards a bar, we waited by the bar for him to clean the tables. And waited, and waited…. until eventually the bone idol cretin finally said it was okay to take our seats some 15 minutes later.

We ordered what seemed like two very rudimentary meals, fish and chips. Having been hungry, slightly sedated and sat next to a bunch of scumbags from Salford we were very keen for the meal to arrive swiftly. 30 minutes later nothing had arrived, when the food did come it was most enjoyable albeit rather meager in size. At no point did they ask if we wanted more drinks which meant we had to queue up at the bar.

All in all a pretty piss poor effort at lunch- over priced and served by a bunch of morons who couldn’t care less about the patrons. Unsurprisingly I do not recommend the bridge pub on Deansgate.

JD Sports

Now I don’t usually buy from outlets that are frequented by the proletariat, but I made an exception when I saw a nice pair of trainers on the JD Sports website. So I ordered them online in good faith, submitting my payment details. They even allow for a separate delivery address from the billing address, great! (I thought). I promptly recieved an email saying they had been dispatched.

Once they arrived I found to my dismay that they had sent the WRONG trainers in the WRONG size. I immediately rang their customer help line and was told that they would collect my trainers and deliver the correct pair the next day.

I was fairly impressed with their handling of this cock up so far…

So the next day came and guess what, no trainers arrived. So I rang up again to be told that they “hadn’t found my order and that they couldn’t contact the person they had incorrectly sent them to”. They also refused to send out another pair, meaning that I am getting a pair that some cretin has had their filthy hands on.

They advised me that the trainers should be with me by Saturday (morning) but couldn’t guarantee it. I am not holding my breath!

This video shows JD Sports don’t have the best rep online at all…

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