Monthly Archives: March 2008

General

Enable parents to work without childcare costs

Leave a comment

I’ve been asked if I could promote a petition on the Downing Street website. The petition is concerning the UK tax credits system, and is asking for the system to be reviewed to enable parents to work without childcare costs crushing their income.

The petition requires 200 signatures before Downing Street will consider it.

Obviously my problems with the CSA and various other bodies related to them are well documented, so I’m more than happy to help out with this one.

If you could cast your eye over this petition and, if you agree with it, give it your backing, I’d very much appreciate it.

Thanks.

Affiliate Marketing

Firebox.com add videos for Affiliates

Leave a comment

If you’re looking to sell some gadgets through an affiliate site you’ll be interested to learn that Firebox have just launched videos of its products for affiliates to use on their websites.

You choose a video, enter your affiliate id, any tracking id you want and then the code adapts so the link is coded properly. You can preview your video on that page too, and even test the tracking.

Its been proven that especially for products such as ours, video vastly improves conversion rates. This is especially true for any products that move or have an interactive element. I expect affiliates who use the player will also see an upturn in conversion. At the very least, it’s a fun piece of content to add value to your site.

Firebox

You can see more about this on Firebox.com here. I’ll certainly be using these on a few websites over the next few weeks.

Guest Posts, Rants

Zucci Clothing Can Fuck Off

Leave a comment

Are you tired of going out to the shops to buy your designer clothes?

Well never fear, the internet age is upon us and there are plenty of online shops available out there that allow me to buy what I want within a matter of minutes.

However what happens when your order is out of stock? You usually get a notification to your email informing you the product is out of stock and the money is refunded to your account.

So imagine my shock when for the first time ever I use Zucci to purchase a nice top for the weekend only to be told two hours later by email it is out of stock and that to get my money back I’d have to phone up.

You can see where this is going can’t you?

I phone the number advertised on their email and could you fucking believe it no one is there to take my chuffing call? I tried calling them 5 times within the space of an hour and nothing. I ring again just before 5.30pm to be told the office is now closed and I’d have to call back at 9.30am when they reopen.

What the fuck?? Sounds like no cunt turned up for work yesterday at all. I wouldn’t mind normally but can you imagine my horror when I call back this morning and get the same message.

This is a fairly big company and to have no customer service agents to take my call is pretty wank and shows that they don’t care. The ironic thing is that I was going to see if I could get a different top.

Well not anymore you bunch of tossers. Never before have I experienced such a piss poor service.

If you cunts are reading this, then check your email as I tried to email you about this but of course if you don’t answer telephones, I highly doubt you will answer my emails.

Here’s hoping you wake up and employ some more retards to answer your phones. Twats

Humour, Rants

Cancer against Christians

5 Comments

I noticed a collection box on the bar at the pub the other night with the slogan ‘Christians against Cancer’ emblazoned on it. While I support the fight against Cancer as much as the next guy (my mum’s had it twice and two friends recently past away from it) I do feel that Christians represent a bigger threat to our World than Cancer.

After all, if caught early enough Cancer can be treated. There’s no cure for Christians unless you use lions as Emperor Nero did, and lions are hard to come by.

Therefore I’m looking to support Cancer against Christians, a new charity that is trying to eradicate Christians across the globe with the use of Cancer. People such as The Backstreet Boys, Gary Busey, Charlton Heston and MC Hammer should be wiped out as quickly and effectively as possible; people who gossip and snipe at you, yet look down on you because they go to church and you don’t. You know the sort of people, arseholes.

Join Cancer against Christians now and help Cancer put an end to Christians today.

General

St Patrick’s Day

1 Comment

Last night I popped down to the local Irish themed watering hole for a quiet drink after work. Imagine my surprise when I found hundreds of people, all drinking heavily. I was stunned and slightly disgusted at the quantities of alcoholic beverages that were being consumed.

Naturally I joined in and got absolutely munted.

St Patrick’s Day

You can see the full album on Facebook.

Rants

Ban buses, make the poor walk

Leave a comment

I’ve had enough of getting stuck behind buses as they pull out without warning, no indication, only to crawl along blocking me off. They have their own frickin’ bus lanes that they nip in and out of seemingly at will with the sole intention of getting in my way, then take up the whole road with their filthy, smoke bellowing engines, and then they drive straight at you when they’re coming the other way.

Environmental CampaignerYet the government and bearded, sandal wearing environmental campaigners (or tossers to the rest of us), like this idiot pictured, say we should all use buses instead of our cars.

Bollocks. I used to use a bus when I was a student. They’re unreliable, slow, smelly, noisy and full of chavs. The drivers seem to delight in seeing you waiting and driving on past you with a sly smile, knowing full well you wanted them to stop. They are not a viable means of transport.

Use more buses? Not bloody likely. I say ban buses, rip up the bus lanes and let the poor walk. Why does someone who is poor and rides on a bus have the right to get somewhere before me?

They’re only going to pick up their giro, they can walk to do that. They don’t need to hold me up on my way to the casino.

Humour

Drink a Guinness, annoy a Christian

Leave a comment

It’s St Patrick’s Day today, the day where Irishmen the World over get absolutely obliterated in a celebration of all things Irish. Of course, the rest of us join in because we all love getting wasted as well. That’s a great reason to go tonight and get totally twatted, however if you need another reason to show your liver who’s boss this evening; try this one.

Religious groups are complaining that St Patrick’s Day should have been Saturday instead of today because you’re not supposed to celebrate the day of another Saint during the week of Easter as it would offend Jesus.

Jesus F*cking Christ! So I get to drink myself stupid AND annoy some Christians at the same time?

Back of the net!

Drink a Guinness, annoy a Christian… you know it makes sense.

Guinness

Affiliate Marketing

eBay to cease CJ affiliate program

Leave a comment

eBay have just sent out an email announcing that they are stopping their CJ affiliate program from May 1st. They’re now going to be running it themselves through http://affiliates.ebay.com, and will be taking registrations from April 1st.

This means anyone running eBay links on their websites will need to sign up to their new program and replace all of their links by May 1st to continue earning commissions.

Damn, that’s going to take me days.

The new platform will go live on April 1st, 2008 PST, at which point eBay will no longer be running its affiliate program through Commission Junction. Beginning April 1st, affiliates should register with eBay Partner Network and migrate their links from CJ to the new platform.

While CJ and ValueClick have been valuable partners to eBay throughout the years, we’ve decided to give our affiliate community a customized experience for eBay affiliates.

It also represents bad news for Commission Junction and ValueClick, they must be gutted.