Monthly Archives: October 2007

Internet, Rants

Euro Millions Winner spam email

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I’ve received about a dozen of these spam emails in the last 24 hours and it’s starting to piss me off:

    EURO MILLIONS SPANISH LOTTERY INTERNATIONAL.
FROM: INTERNATIONAL PROMOTION/PRIZE AWARD DEPT.
REFERENCE: 87/60/IPD
BATCH: EGGS-983-741-288:
DATE:8/10/2007

RE:AWARD WINNING NOTIFICATION / FINAL NOTICE

Sir/Madam
We are pleased to inform you of the result of the Euro millions Spanish Lottery Winners International E-mail programs held on the 30TH OF SEPTEMBER 2007.and result where release on the 8TH OF OCTOBER 2007. Your E-mail address attached to ticket number 653-908-321-675 with serial main number 345-790-241-671 drew lucky star numbers 34-32-90-43-32 which consequently won in the 2ND category, you have therefore been approved for a lump sum pay out of 1.000.000.00 Euro.(One Million Euro) CONGRATULATIONS!!!

Due to mix up of some numbers and names, we ask that you keep your winning information confidential until your claims has been processed and your money remitted to you. This is part of our security protocol to avoid double claiming and unwarranted abuse of this program by some participants.

HOW DID YOU WIN???HOW DID THEY GET YOUR NAME&ADDRESS???
All participants were selected through a computer ballot system drawn from over 100,000 company and 50,000,000 individual email addresses and names from all over the world.

This lottery was promoted and sponsored by Spainsh European Lottery board in order to enhance and promote the use of Internet Explorer Users and Microsoft-wares around the globe. This promotional program takes place every three year. We hope with part of your winning you will take part in our end of year 50 million Euro International lottery.

To file for your claim, please contact our fiducial agent:
DR. CHRISTOPHER WILLIAMS
(FEBREGAS SECURITY COMPANY ESPAÑA)
CONTACT CLAIMS AGENT ON TEL:0034-638-272-628
Email: febregasagent@aim.com

VERIFICATION AND FUNDS RELEASE FORM
Be Sure this Verification and Funds Release Form is sent to the Fiduciary agent for quick verification and funds release purpose

1.FULL NAMES:__________________________________
2.CONTACT ADDRESS:_____________________________________________
3.SEX:_______________4.AGE:__________________
5.MARITAL STATUS:___________________
6.OCCUPATION:________________________
7.WINNING EMAIL ADDRESS:_________________________
8.TELEPHONE NUMBER:_____________________
9.REFENCE NUMBER:________________BATCH NO__________
10.AMOUNT WON:_________________________________________
11.CITY/STATE:__________________________________________
12.COUNTRY______________________________________________
13.NATIONALITY__________________________________________

Remember, all winning must be claimed not later than one month,After this date all unclaimed funds will be included in the next stake.
Please note in order to avoid unnecessary delays and complications please remember to quote your reference number and batch numbers in all correspondence. Furthermore, should there be any change of address do inform our agent as soon as possible.

Congratulations once more from our members of staff and thank you for being part of our promotional program.
Note: Anybody under the age of 18 is automatically disqualified.
Sincerely yours,
MRS,PHILOMENA JOSE
VICE PRESIDENT
EURO SPANISH LOTTERY BOARD
——————————————————
This message is confidential. It may also be privileged or otherwise protected by work product immunity or other legal rules. If you have received it please let us know by reply it from your system; you should not copy it or disclose its contents to anyone. All messages sent to and from Febregas Security Company España may be monitored to ensure compliance with internal policies and to protect your winning from the Euro Million Spanish Lottery Award Promotion.
The contents of any email addressed to our clients are subject to our usual terms of business; anything which does not relate to the official business of the firm is neither given nor endorsed by it.

I can’t believe that anyone would actually fall for this badly written horse shit, but then I s’pose there’s one born every minute. The real clincher is that entrants were chosen in an effort to improve usage of Microsoft’s Internet Explorer. Yeah right, like I use that shit.

I guess they’re aiming right though. Anyone stupid enough to use IE would probably fall for this.

Direct Line Insurance, Google, Internet

MrDaz.com ranks Page 4 in Google for Direct Line Insurance

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Well this is an interesting, yet not unexpected turn of events. In my effort to rank #1 in Google for the name of the MD of Direct Line Insurance, one Mr Chris Moat, I have crept up the listings for none other than ‘Direct Line Insurance’.

Imagine what potential customers must think if they search for Direct Line and find my website, complete with a history of what Direct Line Insurance did to me regarding my stolen BMW Z3.

It won’t look good for them. Anyhow, have a look at this screenshot of Google’s SERPs.

Direct Line Page 4

Humour, Internet, SEO

Bizare searches that bring traffic

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I was just looking through the stats on some of my websites and came across what I thought to be the oddest Yahoo search yet to lead someone to one of my websites. Incredibly, a Yahoo search for the phrase ‘fuck off you c*nt‘ lead someone to find my chav bashing site www.YourCarIsShit.com.

I wonder what the person searching was actually hoping to find.

This shows the value of allowing comments on your website though. No matter how infantile the comments, they all help your long tail search queries.

Direct Line Insurance, Google, Internet, SEO

MrDaz.com ranks #2 in Google for Chris Moat

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Would you look at this. My quest to rank in Google for the name of the MD for Direct Line Insurance, Chris Moat is almost complete. MrDaz.com now ranks in Google.com and Google.co.uk at #2 for ‘Chris Moat’, prompting loads of angry Direct Line Insurance customers to find my site and leave their comments.

We should be #1 very soon. Ah, the simple pleasures of SEO.

Direct Line Google

I look forward to Direct Line Insurance themselves getting in touch with their thoughts.

British Telecom

BT stall over their error

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I’ve just had an email from British Telecom, who I gave 48 hours some time last week to resolve the fact that they’ve debited me £68 when it should be £33. It took them a while, and they’re still stalling for time. The thing is, despite having my account details, and obviously my name… look what they address me as:

Dear Mr Daz

Thank you for your e-mail dated 5.10.2007 regarding your complaint.

I am sorry for the delay in replying to you and for any inconvenience this may have caused.

In response to your e-mail I would like to inform you that I have escalated your issue to the department concerned and they will contact you at the earliest.

In the meantime, I would like to thank you for your patience and co operation and to assure you of my best intentions at all times. However if you have any further queries regarding this matter, please feel free to contact me directly via e-mail.

Thank you for contacting BT.

Yours sincerely,

Sanjay Sohal
eContact Customer Service

Heh, I think maybe the folks at BT have had a look at MrDaz.com. I wouldn’t be surprised, we do rank in Google for searches like ‘BT are bastards’.

Rants

Royal Mail go on strike, how can we tell?

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So the Royal Fail are going on strike because their pay rise isn’t as much as they’d have liked. The lazy arsed money grabbing bastards. If we’re going to have to wait a week for our post, find letters going missing and see postal workers stood outside the sorting office puffing away on cigarettes does that mean a strike? Or does it more likely reflect the normal working style of the Royal Mail.

How can we tell when they’re on strike? Seriously. They must be taking the piss.

I hope they all get sacked, useless wankers.