This week I’ve been trying in vain to speak to Royal & SunAlliance in a desperate attempt to get them fix the outstanding items on my car, that was stolen in July 2006. When I eventually got to speak to someone they said they’d been told they weren’t allowed to talk to me and that I’d receive a letter shortly.

I requested an email instead, and eventually got one today. This is going to get good, so are you sitting comfortably?

Dear Mr Jamieson,

Ref – Claim ***********

I refer to your recent letter.

We are now able to confirm the following;

After further investigation we once again state that we will not consider the replacement locks and key. We have already established that the keys to the vehicle were left in the car when the car was recovered, therefore there is no requirement to replace the locks and keys. Our investigator has stated that he had viewed photographs of the vehicle taken upon it’s return to Hillcroft, prior to the work having been carried out. He examined those images which showed that the ariel had been broken off, and also the slight damage to the rear bumper. Those images do in fact show that the keys were left in the vehicle. Please note that this is our Final Decision on this matter.

As previously agreed we will pay for a new ariel to be fitted and will also deal with the rear end damage. I now understand that you have had difficulty in obtaining an estimate for repairs. I can confirm, to assist you we will by happy to send out one of our Expert Motor Engineers to agree a cost for the repairs. We will then be in a position to offer you a cash settlement to conclude the claim, which will also include the agreed amount for lost personal effects totalling £55.00. This amount will be added onto the final payment for the aforementioned repairs to your vehicle.

Finally, we ask again that you remove all content on your website relating to Royal & Sun Alliance and it’s staff by 1st December 2007 and in future, refrain from posting any similar material to the website. We ask that you treat correspondence and communications with Royal & SunAlliance in relation to this matter as confidential, and do not record any further calls and letters or emails, for the purposes of posting them to the website. In view of this continuing situation, all future communication with yourself and Royal & Sun Alliance will be via letter or email, we will not take part in any futher telephone conversations reagarding this claim.

I trust this has now addressed all your concerns. If you do require us to appoint our Motor Engineer can you please respond to this email with contact details and times when you will be available.

Yours sincerely

Zoe Banks
Customer Service Leader

Hmmm… so they don’t want me publishing anything on this website? I wonder why. I’d like them to do what they’re supposed to do, do what they were asked to do last Summer, but I’m just pissing in the wind. I imagine they don’t want any record of their dealing with this case made public because it makes them look utterly useless and incompetent.

Perhaps they shouldn’t be so useless then. I replied with this.

Zoe, thank you for your email. I am happy for you view the car and to give me a cheque for the total damage as you see it. The car is located at ********* – as your previous employee Brian McNamara has already seen it there.

You can contact me to arrange a time, the earlier the better. Today or Tomorrow would be good.

Reference the lock set. Yes there was a key in the car when your engineer viewed it. That was the SPARE key I supplied to the Hillcroft for them to collect the car from Bristol. I DO NOT have the original key I gave them before it was stolen. If it was recovered with the car, return it, if you do not have the original key, replace the lockset.

As for the content on the website, everything on there is factually accurate. I get a lot of traffic for people looking for advice on Insurance problems, insurance complaints, RSA and various other competitive key phrases. I will consider the content on the website ONLY when this has all been settled. If it is not settled to my satisfaction the resolution will not be to your satisfaction.

This includes the lockset. Ask yourself this, why would I want the lockset changed if I had both keys? I’m not asking it for a laugh, or because I’m bored. It’s because I do NOT have the original key.

Return it or change it.

I trust your next reply doesn’t as long as this one did to arrive as we’re approaching the 18 month anniversary of my car being stolen. I’d rather not get there.

Darren Jamieson
Leading Complaining Customer

Notice my business title, I thought that was a nice touch. Did I expect them to actually do what I asked? Not really, but I was completely flummoxed at her poorly worded response.

Dear Mr Jamieson,

With regard to the locks and keys, you clearly stated in a letter you sent to David Cheetham on 17th November 2006, ‘when I gave the car in I handed in the keys, which were taken when it was stolen. This means I only have 1 set of keys now and the theives still have a set’. Your letter was sent to David Cheetham after the car had been recovered and the repairs had been carried out. Therefore this means that the spare keys were in your posession after the recovery of your car had taken place. I will however call Hillcroft garage to confirm with them. I am unable to do this untill Friday as the proprieter is unavaialbe.

I will now arrange for one of our Motor engineers to inspect the damage to conclude the claim.

Yours sincerely

Zoe Banks
Customer Service Leader

This seriously angered me. She’s referring to a letter I sent a year ago to Churchgate Insurance, who were the Insurance broker for the garage. They liaised between myself, Hillcroft and RSA. For some reason she’s read that I’d stated I had the spare key and not the original key, yet somehow took that to mean that I had the original key back with the car. I’m not sure what the hiring policy is at Royal & SunAlliance but they seem to let anyone in.

My repost was understandably angered.

Correct, on November 17th 2006… almost ONE YEAR AGO. This means I have one set of keys. One set of keys that haven’t been stolen. One set of keys that were given to the Hillcroft to recover the car. This does NOT MEAN that I kept the keys while the car was being repaired. Why are you so unable to understand a simple fact? What is your problem? Is everyone there an utter moron? Why have I been waiting 16 months for this? Where is my written apology???

You are trying my patience with this and I am not prepared to wait another few days for you to ask a garage what happened over a year ago. My initial efforts to contact the Hillcroft back in July 2006 were an utter waste of time. It is now November 2007. Fix the car. Fix it now.

If you think the name of Royal & SunAlliance has been sullied by this whole escapade then I suggest you do what you are legally obligated to do before the matter gets out of hand.

I expect you to reply today. Be sure that you do.

I had lost it then, but Zoe’s reply was typically useless.

Dear Mr Jamieson

As per my previous e-mail, I will be contacting Hillcroft Garage to confirm this, however am unable to do this until Friday.

Once this has been done, I will be in contact with you further.

Yours Sincerely

Zoe Banks
Customer Service Leader

This seriously pissed me off as I had asked about the keys in November 2006 and only now, NOW… 12 months later… are RSA bothering to inquire about it. And people wonder why I get so fucked off with all of this. My final response went unanswered.

As per my previous email, that isn’t good enough. You had over a year to confirm this with the Hillcroft garage and as you have just admitted to having my letter dated November 17th 2006 in your possession I can prove you have failed to act adequately with regards to this matter.

Your excuse that Malcolm Williams isn’t available until Friday is not acceptable. Every attempt I made to contact him when my car was first stolen failed and I am not prepared to wait further.

Your failure to understand the situation merely compounds Royal & SunAlliance’s incompetence. If I had the original keys as you suggest, why would I write to David Cheetham AFTER the car had been recovered AND partially repaired telling him that I don’t have the original keys?

It baffles me, it truly does.

I will be publicising this and will continue to do so until the matter is resolved.

I remind you that nothing libellous has been published on the website you have mentioned, any social networking sites, YouTube, Digg, Stumble Upon, Feedburner or any other websites that I use for Internet Marketing. Everything is true.

The World eagerly awaits the resolution of this claim. Choose your next move very carefully.

So here we are, bang up to date. RSA want me to remove the content from this website by December 1st 2007, I want them to fix my fucking car by July 2006, and unless they’ve a fucking TARDIS that ain’t gonna happen.

This is a great advert for Royal & SunAlliance, one I’m sure they’re proud of.

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