All posts by MrDaz

Darren Jamieson, aka MrDaz, is the Technical Director and co-founder of Engage Web and has been working online in a career spanning two decades. His first website was built in 1998 and is still live today.
Internet, Rants

Don’t panic, everything’s ok says 1and1

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For the last few days I, like many thousands of people have been experiencing problems with my email through my hosting company 1and1 Internet.

Luckily, 1and1 says the problems are all sorted, the following is taken from Internet nerd news site The Register:

Yesterday, a number of UK customers experienced some delay in receiving inbound email. The delay was due to a surge in email volumes over our email servers. Our email system continued to receive all email during this time, with only its delivery to inboxes being delayed.

The email delay was handled according to set procedure, emails were queued and stored and no email was lost during this time.

The technical issue was resolved and all emails involved are being delivered safely. Only 1&1 email users were affected.

We sincerely apologise for any inconvenience caused to our customers due to the queuing of emails.

Today, 1&1’s UK Customer Control Panel was temporarily unavailable for a very short time whilst systems were maintained.

Well that’s nice to know isn’t it? Now, when I fail miserably to get my email I can take comfort in the fact 1and1 says everything’s hunky fucking dory.

Of course, it’s not. It still doesn’t sodding work, so their sticking their heads in the sand doesn’t make the problem go away. 1and1, get it sorted you muppets.

Humour, Movies

Good job I brought my wip

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I’m really getting into this YouTube. Here’s a classic from circa 1995, where Swansea based Steven Gane dons the jacket, hat and wip of Indiana Jones – mixed with the make-up of Julian Clary.

The shit some people will do if you tell them no one will ever see it eh? Steven Gane as Juliana Clary, watch and weep.

You need to a flashplayer enabled browser to view this YouTube video

Humour, Rants

France becoming part of Great Britain?

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So it seems that in 1950 France wanted to unify with Great Britain. I’ve just been asked how I feel about that.

Well, it wouldn’t be so bad so long as there were a few provisos. We could have a new, unified name to display the unity between the two Countries. Something like ‘Great Britain’ would suffice. Then of course we’d need one single currency, something which many Brits are unsure of, but if we called it ‘The Pound’ for example I’m sure they’d come round.

We’d also need a single language to help the trade between us, English has a nice ring to it, we can use that. Finally we’d need a flag, something which embodies the Union Flag of the British Isles, and the White flag of French Surrendership… that’s it, I can’t entertain this crap any more! The bloody cheese eating, sheep burning, wine guzzling, Nazi collaborating surrender monkeys unifying with us???

The bloody cheek of it. Non monsier.

You snobby bastards were offered the chance by Churchill back in 1940 as the Bosch were trampling through your vineyards, and you shrugged your Gallic shoulders and turned tail to the Germans, then you’ve the bloody cheek to ask for it ten years later.

I need to lay down.

Google, Internet

Google PR Update

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Today is the day that many nerds all over the net wet their online pants about – Google has updated its visible toolbar Page Rank. Yay!

While this isn’t the most important aspect to a website’s success, it does show that things are heading in the right direction if you get an increase, as I did with the website www.okprintit.com. However, www.whatdvd.net went down from 5 to 4, gutted.

Thankfully the main site, www.thetransformers.net held firm at a PR6. MrDaz.com however is too new to rank at all, maybe next time. All the sites linking in here, it should score heavily in the next update.

So, whether the update has been kind to you, or not so kind, let me wish you all a Happy PR Update Day!

Rants

How useless are the police, really?

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My sister had her car tyres slashed this week, while her Corsa (shit car, I know) was parked outside her house. She said every car in the street was done, about 30 in total, and when she called the police guess what they did.

Go on, guess…

If you said “Leap into action and get staight over there” you’re a twat. Oh no, the correct answer is: “Absolutely fuck all”.

That’s right, our taxes pay for these retards to do nothing, zip, scratch their balls and watch TV, etc, etc.

They said, and this is priceless, as there were so many crimes at once if they came out they’d be there all night. And the award for reaching new heights in incompetance goes to… Newport police.

Well done guys, you’ve amazed even me in my cynical life. I didn’t think the police could be quite that useless, but there you go.

Rants

Inland Revenue are a bunch of tossers

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I’ve just had a final demand from the Inland Revenue, saying I’ve got until January 31st to pay my income tax.

But I haven’t had a total from them yet???

Seems they’ve lost my form. I sent the damn thing by the end of September so they could calculate it for me, and they’ve gone and lost it – the ueseless tossers. Now they’ll expect me to do it all again, what’s the frickin point eh? You do it all by the book, legit like, and they screw it up. If they’re this incompetant, why do I even bother with it?

Once again, I sign off a blog with the word, morons.

Rants

Self service my arse!

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I just popped into Tesco’s for a loaf of bread, which is ironic in itself as I make liberal use of its 30 minute free car park every day for 8 hours when I’m in work – I just so happened to ALSO go to Tesco today.

My bread in hand I ambled up to the tills, where they’d had 2 new ‘self service’ tills installed. One guy on the till, no queue; shouldn’t be a problem here then eh? I walked up to him, only to notice what could only be described as a spotty oik in a Tesco uniform squatting in front of the till pissing about with some magazines. He didn’t fancy moving, so looked up at me and uttered those teeth grinding words: “Do you want to use the self service till?”.

No, I fucking well wouldn’t! I didn’t graduate from university just to operate a till like some retarded shop twat. Take my fucking bread and ring it up, lest you’ll be replaced by the self service till and be forced to sign on to pay for those car mods you prize so heavily. Prick.

What use are these morons if they can’t even be arsed to do their own jobs? I’d complain to Tesco if I thought they’d give a flying toss, but of course they wouldn’t, so I’ll just keep using their free parking every day.

Morons.