Tesco is shit

Just went into Tesco Express in Cardiff Bay to pick up some sugar, a Yazoo and some pancakes. Simple enough eh?

When I get to the till there’s no one there. Seems the staff can’t be arsed serving anymore due to their new ‘self service’ tills. As I’ve previously stated, I refuse to use these chav stations so ended up slinging my produce onto one of the tills and walking out.

Tesco, try – do try to actually have people serving in your stores. Is human interaction and customer service so unimportant that you just can’t be bothered anymore?

Darren Jamieson, aka MrDaz, is the Technical Director and co-founder of Engage Web and has been working online in a career spanning two decades. His first website was built in 1998 and is still live today.

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44 thoughts on “Tesco is shit”

  1. Thts why they have self serving check outs so u can check the goods out urself u fucking twat!

  2. Sounds like you’re cut out for working on the tills buddy. With that kind of intellect you might even get a job flippin’ burgers in Maccy D’s.

  3. Your very stuck up and very stereotypical. Just because people might work at either of those places, does not automatically mean they are thick! People can work there just to make a little money, be inbetween university lectures, or as a second job etc…You sound like a typical customer thinking that everyone who works there is a piece of shit. I’m sorry, but your not better than anyone else no matter what you think. If you don’t like the self serving tills then you can always go elsewhere. You don’t have to shop there! Just take your custom elsewhere and one more thing…just get over it, it’s not the end of the bloody world!!

  4. Your poor grammar shows that you, no matter how much you protest and suggest some University involvement, are in fact quite thick.

    If you understood what I have actually written you might realise that the emergence of self service tills, particularly in such a small shop as a Tesco Express, will actually mean job losses for these ‘students earning money between lectures’.

    Guess you missed that lesson at school?

  5. Your not very witty are you. Quite a boring reply really. I was expecting something better than that!
    And you attack my grammar, how petty is that!!

    I was saying in my post if you opened your eyes and read it ..that not all people that work there are thick, like you were implying in your reply to the other poster.
    And that if you were not happy then don’t shop there.. simple as! That was my point in my reply.
    You obviously couldn’t take what I was saying for some reason and you attack me calling me thick like you have done with the other poster because of my grammar?.
    Now who’s the “intelligent “one calling people names and resorting to playground antics? I guess your the one that needs to go back to school and learn to grow up eh?

    And for the stores that have the self service tills, I agree they probably will cut back on staff, your right ,but not in the stores that don’t have them obviously, so there will still be jobs for the student types… But yeh, just don’t shop there if you don’t like it. Take your custom elsewhere.

  6. I’ll call you what I like asswipe, until you learn to spell you should keep your suggestions for further education to yourself.

    “You’re” – short for “you are”, use it properly.

    What is the point you’re (see, that’s using it properly) attempting to drag from your anus?

  7. I’ll say what I want. You just can’t handle anything I say you little bitch haha. Just keep living your sad pathetic little life moaning about fucking checkouts you old grandad, and your boring little job you geek! hahaha. Your such a sad little cunt to keep going on about spelling. What are you? the fucking spelling police? lmao. Its an internet blog. Who cares if grammar isnt to degree level you absolute nob jockey. haha. loser!!

  8. o and by the way. change your profile picture! it’s absolutely horrendous. who the fuck do you think you are? the fucking terminator? hahahaha

  9. I can’t handle anything you say? I can barely understand anything you say, shit master. Just because this is the Internet it doesn’t mean people as illiterate as you have to infest it with your remedial scrawls.

    As for my profile picture, that’s from a film I made a few years ago. Check it out on IMDB. How many films have you made?

  10. haha. that was a shit reply, can you not give me a decent reply without wanking off about grammar,spelling or anything else to do with the english language?? Anyone can make films you wanker! your such a joke. you fucking retard!! LMFAO

  11. Anyone reading this can see instantly where the shit replies are coming from, and who the retard is. I work in the media, Film, Television and Internet. That sound shit to you?

    What Film and TV shows have you been involved with, if anyone can do it?

    With every post you prove more and more what a retarded shit eater you are. With that level of intellect I’m sure you’ll have no trouble finding vocation in any of the food serving or road sweeping industries.

    In fact, there’s a few quid in it for you to shine my fucking shoes. Shine my fucking shoes bitch!

  12. I agree with Damien you are a cock.

    I bet you are a $50 a month Adsense wanker wannabe pretending to be the big I am…

    Oh Shoe, I love you, Oh DaveN you are the greatest…

    Arse licking twat.

  13. Arse licking? That’s the first time I’ve been described as Arse licking. If you’ve read the blogs on here I rarely compliment anyone and I’ve never mentioned Dave Naylor.

    $50 per month Adsense? er, wanker… there’s a video on this site with my Adsense earnings, if you’d like to watch it? $50 is a bad morning.

  14. just to make a comment on this thread. I actually work for tesco with a small t. The vast majority of workers are actually quite thick, non achievers, just losers. I am there because I am of an age whereby it is hard to get a job and even though they pay a pittance I work there because I have to get by. If you look at the regular workers and dig into their history you will find they are the people who were wasters at school and a lot are wasters at their present job as well. Lack of interest goes with the job, the training and the quality of their management team. I cannot understand how they make so much profit, it is definitely not from the store that I work in.

  15. I gotta side with MrDaz

    I mean this nicely but those who work for superstores in general are as thick as shit. Even the simplest of tasks seem too complex for even the most trivial of matters to complete. You wouldnt think that scanning a can of coke would be that complex I mean you just scan and and errrr well yeah thats it but believe it or not I have actually had it wait 15 minutes – 15 fucking minutes!!!. I only went in there for headache pills and some coke to take them with, come out pissed off with a head feeling twice as bad as when I went in wondering where on earth they find these people and how they get into the interview room let alone though an interview. Asda and Sainsbury’s are just as bad. Lets face it stupidity is here to stay.

  16. Went to my local Tescos tonight just to buy a pack of razor blades, all the manned tills mad busy so had to use automatic tills, scanned it and as its a “dangerous” item it need authorising (I am 42 btw and have been shaving safely since the early 80s) trouble was their person authorising it was away with the fairies. Tried to get her attention but she ignored me and walked off, so I just dumped them and am growing a beard instead.

  17. I work for Tesco’s part time and I work for the Self Service Checkouts. I am also in University currently studying Computer Science. Majority of the people on Checkouts in my store are Students and Graduates. My 2 Supervisors are Medical Students and if you ask me I personally believe that it is the Customers that are thick, well not all of them but most of them. Fred Dibner the reason it asked for Authorisation is because they are razors and we can not just sell them to any person as the computer will not know what age you are. For security reasons we can not just sell a pack of razor blades to a 15 yr old.
    Ill give you 2 example’s of the 2 most dumbest customers ive ever met in my 8 months in Tesco’s . Recently In Northern Ireland and Southern Ireland there was a Pork ban as they thought diotoxins had been released into the feed which poisoned the pigs. About 2 weeks ago one lady actually came to me and said where has all the pork gone is there no pork at all and when i explained to her that for safety reasons and under the Authority of the Food standards Agency Tesco’s had decided to remove all the pork from the shelves she started shouting at me and saying she will never shop here again. The second one is today when i kept telling a gentleman not to lift the bags off the belt he kept doing it and he got fustrated and ended up saying that it was my fault when he was the one causing the problem when I explained to him numerous times that “When you scan an item you place it on the scale and leave the item and bag there untill its paid for”. The old saying “The customer is always right” is bullshit.

  18. people, why must you argue and name call like that? its childish, very childish.
    some people who work in shops are thick, some people who work in shops are very intelligent…
    some people who dont work in shops are also thick, i might also point out that some people who dont work in shops are also very thick. (also 3 times there, awesome). where was i?
    oh yeah, jesus kids. shit happens every day, but if little things like this are so important to you, you need to find something… that something is a life. thats all folks. g’night..:)

  19. I work for Tesco and I would say that about 95% of employees have an IQ level of less than 8 (obviously i’m in that other 5% as I can spell ‘Tesco’). I would also say that 99% of the general public are ignorant fucking twats. Working in retail in general is a bag of bollocks, you find that you hate the public and the public hate you. I think that every single shop should be shut down and everybody shop online. It would make the world a much better place to live. FUCK TESCO, FUCK ASDA, FUCK SAINSBURY’S, FUCK THEM ALL!!!!!! Money grabbing, slave driving bellends! Thanks!

  20. basically if you are intelligent enough to use self service they are great, the ONLY people that are against them are the people to THICK to use them or to LAZY!!!! its not hard!!! if it says put the item in the bagging area then fuking do it!!! NONE of the tesco workers i work with are THICK!!! JUST THE PUBLIC ARE AROGENT!!! they should all just get a life!! complaining about every little stupid thing, its just sad… supermarkets themselves as companys are poor, they could do alot better, but they employ alot of people!! customers complain about staff all the time just all fuck off!!!

  21. Tesco, try – do try to actually have people serving in your stores. Is human interaction and customer service so unimportant that you just can’t be bothered anymore?

    yes it is unimportant to them when they can save millions of pounds salary a year on staffing costs,do you really think any of these companies give a shit about you and your needs? lol they are only there to make a profit,it`s a buisness and the only reason others shops haven`t followed suit is because tescos beat them to it. the reason salesmen are nice to you is because they want to sell you something not have a social interaction and gossip.

  22. I agree with a lot of the comments and disagree with some. I do feel that forcing people to use self service is wrong and it winds me up just for the simple reason that the cost of staffing is built into the cost of products. Fair enough if tesco are going to cut prices a bit to compensate for using stupid self service that gets confused for no reason. Sure i agree some people are just fucking dense and dont use them properly but a lot of the time its the scanner.

    Also it is fair to say a lot of retail workers are the losers you used to go to school with that where always destined to go nowhere but on the other hand there are 10% or so that are really bright and are using shop work just for some cash inbetween whatever it is they are up to.

    Its not the end of the world and not worth getting bitchy about. But i do think tesco shouldnt bother trying to say they care about customer service, just tell the truth that you want the money and dont give a shit, i can live with that!

  23. Yeah, I hate them self-serve things. and the weird thing is, at my Tesco they have like 4 storeworks hovering ’round the goddam self serve checkouts, incase you’re too thick to operate one… they’d be better sitting their fat asses at a till and actually helping folks out, when I go shopping, the last thing I want to do it scan and pack myself..

    I’ve also had a real horror show at tesco and started an anti-tesco site.


    check it

  24. How many more shops does Tesco have to kill to make people realise it’s a high street cancer?

  25. you fucking dip shit not every one is a dumb fuck self service is piss easy to use unles your a dumb fuck and lazy bastard who cant be assed packing and scanning your self get a life instead of moaning about a till not being occupied by staff member u sad fuck

  26. i work at tescoe and took the job because i lost my job as a skilled furniture maker instead of sitting about and signing on.

  27. I refuse to be rude to shop staff as i know what a difficult job it can be and how irratating the general public are on occasion that said some of the most stupid and ignorant people i have come into contact with seem to work in Tescos specifically the shop managers. Put a complaint in to Tescos and they will no doubt ignore it and try and treat you like the idiot it usually employs as staff yes you the moronic shambling effort of a security guard in my local store ARSEWIPES

  28. MrDaz, you are so up yourself it is unbelievable, get a fucking life.

  29. Mr Daz your a fucking chief. You work in the media? How the hell can you brag about that!? You made a ‘film’…HOW THE HELL CAN YOU BRAG!?!?!?
    Durham university educated student, has undoubtedly achieved/done more than you have at the age of 20 than you have in your entire live you pathetic little prick. I work at Tesco part time, got 10A* at GCSE and 5 A’s at A-level and am currently on track to graduate with a 1st from Durham (top 5 universities in the UK) in geography (currently most employable job amongst leading blue-chip firms)…what you got? You made a film? Fuck you

  30. Well, having read this beautiful trail of rants, all I can say is that if any of these people worked for me, however well-meaning they might mean to be defending themselves, their fellow employees, their employer, and criticising the customer, I would have no hesitation in firing every single one of them for their offensive language.

  31. 20 years ago I stacked shelves in Tesco. Now, because I’m so thick, I am the store manager on £75,000 a year with a nice new Jag XF on the drive of my 5 bedroom detached house.

    Thick or not thick, life is what you make it.

  32. its true, tescos staff are as thick as shit*. they cant add up they cant scan a bar code but then again if i worked there, i think i would also not give a fuk about anyone or anythin and just wait for payday.
    what skill set, what creative path are these people subjected to? its becoming the lowest of jobs, subordinate to a bleeping machine, who they have to then swipe with a card to make work. its the supermarket empire that mocks you, not the staff, there human. they dont want to be there any more than you do. 40hrs a week to stare and care about cheap quality food?
    yeh u go do it

  33. I agree with you that there should always be a person on the checkouts for basic customer service and security skills. I work for Tesco and can confirm that head office is making drastic cutbacks that will, over a planned out timeline, changing the way people shop and pay for their goods. One of which is the encouraging customers to use the self service by making the staff encourage it, basically they have a plan which you will follow, even if you aren’t aware of it. Tesco know they are the cheapest and people ‘who will never shop there again’ always come back.

    And, on a person note, saying that anyone who works for Tesco is thick is quite a silly statement to make. The company is one of the UK’s biggest employers with a vast level of intellect within. I can’t speak for everyone here, but I know most staff at stores, actually don’t care what customers think about them, and go to work like everyone else, for money and to have a bit of fun.

    So, if in future you have any issue with Tesco, please don’t waste your time by bogging it to the world, try a useful method.


  34. I Enjoyed reading the amusing trail of anti-Tesco vitriol. I must agree with the sentiments of many that MrDaz is indeed offensive & bloated with self-importance. I’m a Lecturer in English and It’s cringeworthy to correct someone’s grammar in order to make yourself feel superior!

  35. Before you comment on the capital E in the last post – it’s an iPad error not a human one, go & make a film about it!

  36. You should visit Tesco in Sligo, Ireland. The fresh produce is mainly rotten, the staff are not allowed to smile, the security guard thinks he’s a Nazi extermination camp guard, and the manager is so stupid he can’t pick his nose and fart at the same time.

  37. Well you are so right.
    But my gripe is the shit they sell :

    Its about shit products at top dollar prices.
    Eg: Some crap branded as “Teco Finest Outdoor bred Pork Sausages”.
    What a total load of shit – “prime cuts” my arse.
    Cost to me GBP 4:00 for 666grams. Touted as 97% “meat”
    -I would say 97% fat as I had to pour off more than 300mL of exuded liquid

    I do not blame the supplier, ( UK HL003 EC ) = Riverway Foods Ltd, Harlow,
    (mechanically recovered “meat” particles), since they will provide what is
    ordered … eg: minimum “meat” particles in maximum fat

    if Tesco say totally legal shit for max profit then that’s what they get.
    Crap innit? England is a shithouse and the religion is profit.
    And Philip Clarke is a total wanker.

    For me this is the last straw. I thought I would try their “finest” offering but
    I am truly appalled at the shit British quality that props up the numbered
    days of this failing retailer. Jack Cohen (RIP) would be appalled at the blatant

    Instead I shall continue to buy quality products imported from Germany.
    Yes indeed Lidl and Aldi win hands down over the high street shithead.

    What a huge pity that our “governments” cannot ensure that we get
    a decent deal from the British profiteers. (I exclude ASDA as you know
    what you are getting and they trade pretty fairly).

    Thank god for the EU too. In December 2014 new labelling laws will shake
    up the food retailing racket. About bloody time.

    Do not go to Tesco -they will rip you off.
    Do not submit to the British Food Cartel (legal here but not in Europe or US)

    Do not vote to exit the EU. They are protecting you -hence the hoo-ha.

    Until you go to Lidl you will be fleeced by Tesco/Sainsbury/Waitrose/Morisson
    and you deserve all you get (lose).

  38. Self-checkout tills means tesco can keep their prices low which is what customers want. It is not Tesco who decides to use these but the customer themselves because they want cheaper products. I guess they could do a survey and see what is more important, having someone ring up your groceries or getting cheaper prices but as things go, most people prefer cheap, want cheap, love cheap. People are cheap and they are the ones responsible for this.

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