Spam emails really should improve

We’ve all had spam emails in the past, some of us receive hundreds of the damn things each day. They’re usually very easy to spot, some more so than others. However they still get sent because generally, there are still people who fall for them.

I just received this prize winning notification email, which could be described as a classic, but I wonder if the spammers are really trying anymore.

—–Original Message—–
From: Mrs. Becky Owen [mailto:info_europeanlotterycompanydavid@yahoo.com.hk]
Sent: 06 May 2008 10:36
To: undisclosed-recipients:
Subject: [SPAM?]: REF: WE67/4360/34

EUROPEAN PRIZE AWARD DEPT
1 Plough Place,
London EC4A 1DE
UNITED KINGDOM
REF: WE67/4360/34
BATCH: 11/4578/GN

OK, so far so good. The email claims to be originating from London and there’s even an address. But wait, the email address is .hk… what’s that about?

Attn:Sir/Madam.

Top of days greetings to you.Finally today, we announce that you are one of the winners of the ELECTRONIC LOTTERY PROGRAMS.

held on 6th MAY,2008. Your company and your personal
e-mail addresses, attached to ticket number: 7-1-8-36-4-22 under agent ID: 18 and lucky ball number 7363789,which consequently won in the Tenth lottery category.

My email address and my company? I don’t have a company… I’m getting suspicious.

You have therefore been awarded a lump sum pay out of 860,641.28 Great British Pounds(GBP) which amounts to $1,500,000.00 (One Million,Five Hundred Thousand United States DOLLARS).

Now, why would they tell me the amount in US Dollars? The email is supposedly from a UK address in London, I’m based in the UK… so why mention US Dollars? I’ll tell you why, because the kind of people who usually fall for these scams are based in the USA, they’re Americans.

Americans are the most gullible race on the planet, particularly when they think there’s some sort of financial gain heading their way.

The online draws was conducted by a random selection of email addresses from an exclusive list of 29,031 E-mail addresses of individuals and corporate bodies picked by an advanced automated random computer search from the internet. No ticket were sold but all email addresses were assigned to different ticket numbers for representation and privacy. This is to encourage our prominent and consistent Microsoft Internet Explorer users all over the world, and for the Continues use of E-mail.

Whoooaaah there! Internet Explorer users??? Now I know it’s a load of shite. I haven’t used IE for years, it’s an awful browser full of security holes. It is used by Americans quite a bit though. Notice a recurring theme?

Your fund has been insured with your identification number {CPEL/OWN/9876}. To claim your winning prize, you must first contact the claims department by email for Processing and remittance of your prize to you.
***********************************
Mr. Mark David
Executive Secretary,
TEL:+447 045 740 589
+447 024 098 309
EMAIL:info_europeanlotterycompanymark2@yahoo.com.hk
**********************************
Do email the above email address all at once. In order to avoid unnecessary delays and complications, please remember to quote your reference and winning numbers in all correspondences with your claims officer.

You are to keep all lotto information away from the general public especially your ticket number and ballot number.All your personal datas are to be sent to YAHOO/MICROSOFT ACCREDITED AGENT via email for the processing of your winning.

‘personal datas’? ‘processing of your winning’? The grammar is really starting to break up. Evidently the author of this scam doesn’t use English as a first language.

FILL THE FORM BELOW WITH YOUR DATAS.

1.Full Name:____________________ 2.Address:______________________ 3.Nationality:____________________
4.Age:______________________________
5.Occupation:____________________ 6.Phone:________________________ 7.State of Origin:_________________ 8.Country:______________________ Sincerely, Mrs. Becky Owen Online Co-ordinator Secretary ====================================================

Again, if they’re in the UK, I’m in the UK, we’re all in the UK together… why ask for my STATE OF ORIGIN??? We don’t have States in the UK.

OUR Executives:
Dr. P. Swier (CEO), Mr. Gerald Goodman (Manager
Foreign Operations), Mr. Franklyn Van Der Weijden
(Manager Domestic Banking Operations), Dr. James
Williams (Director International Credit Department),
Mrs. Lonni K Anderson (Legal Representative), Mrs.
Lyudmyla Marchukova(Regional Manager), Mr. Stephen
Boer (Chairman), Mr. Chris Moritz(International
Relation Officer).

And they print out a list of impressive sounding names to give the scam credence. That’s me sold, have my bank details so you can send me the monies without delay.

Seriously, if you’re an Internet scammer, please at least try to make an effort with your emails. It’ll make all of the difference.

Darren Jamieson

Darren Jamieson, aka MrDaz, is the Technical Director and co-founder of Engage Web and has been working online in a career spanning two decades. His first website was built in 1998 and is still live today.

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