Viral email crashes company’s email

Viral emails are a great method of marketing, but before you try them out for yourself be sure to carefully consider what you’re doing. Persimmon Homes didn’t, and an email sent out by them last week caused their entire network to go down for over a week.

If you received this email below, it was a hoax, ignore it. Do not forward it or reply to it. The person who originated this must feel pretty damn stupid right now.

From: **********
Sent: 04 June 2007 11:32
To: ************
Subject: FW: Marks & Spencer vouchers

Marks & Spencers, in conjunction with Persimmon Homes, are giving away free vouchers.

Marks & Spencers are trying word-of-mouth advertising to introduce its products and the reward you receive for advertising for them is free non-refundable vouchers to be used in any M&S store.

To receive your free vouchers by e-mail all you have to do is to send this email out to 8 people (for 100GBP of free vouchers) or 20 people (for 500GBP of free vouchers).

Within 2 weeks you will receive an e-mail with your vouchers attached.
They will contact you through your e-mail address.

Please mark a copy to: ******

Podcast: RSA wash hands of car

This one’s a beauty. I telephoned Neil Godfrey from Royal & Sun Alliance once again this week and I couldn’t believe what he said.

11 months after my car was stolen, and after I’d tried to get RSA to fix the damn thing by calling them direct in November, January, May and June they tell me I need to go back to the garage that the car was stolen from.

Back to square one.

Listen to this sucker and marvel at the ‘can’t be arsed attitude from Royal & Sun Alliance.

2nd Podcast online now

My podcasting is gathering pace as I post up yet another attempt to get Royal & Sun Alliance to fix my sodding car, that was stolen 11 months ago in July 2006.

You can hear this latest waste of my time as I phoned them this last Monday 18th June.

Further attempts to call them the next day will go online shortly, and these ones are so worth the wait. Trust me, you won’t believe how bad things get.

Tourettes Spokesman Admits Disease is a Hoax

Doctor Eugene Van Bommel, founder of the Tourettes with a Trouble (TWAT) society admitted today what many had believed for years: Tourettes isn’t a real disease at all; it is in fact one long prank started on the Internet.

Tourettes has a reported 27,000 ‘sufferers’ worldwide, all of whom it has been revealed are in on this elaborate hoax. Doctor Van Bommel commented:

“When we started this joke we didn’t think anyone would take it seriously, I mean, it’s absurd to think that some people have to shout foul and abusive language at inopportune moments and cannot control themselves. Yet when we started shouting ‘cock sucking whore’ in mass at our local church, we received compassion rather than mistrust. It just snowballed from there. It seemed no matter how disgusting our outbursts people still believed we’re suffering some affliction”

‘Cock sucking Whore’ is just one such phrase that tourettes sufferers have been shouting in public over the years, ‘twat’, ‘shit’ and ‘fuck’ are also favourite words of these jokesters.

It is believed that the hoax has taken in millions of people worldwide, with many charities even being set up to help these pranksters. All of the monies collected by these charities have apparently been held in a fund to be repaid in full to the generous but gullible donors. If you’ve given money to a tourettes charity over the years, you’ll be getting a phone call soon with details on how you can reclaim your money; assuming of course you’re not too embarrassed by your gullible nature!

With this news coming to light today we speculate on what other diseases might actually be elaborate hoaxes perpetrated on the Internet. OCD, Blindness and Aids are the bookies favourites to be exposed as hoaxes within the next month.

If you were one of the tourettes hoaxers we’d love to hear from you on what crazy, outrageous things you got away with over the years. Contact us and tell us today!

My letter to Royal Sun Alliance

Here is my letter to Royal Sun Alliance with the breakdown of what has happened over the last year regarding my stolen car. I have since spoken to them and cannot believe the outcome of that conversation.

I truly can’t.

That will be added as a podcast this Friday. Stay tuned for that, it’s an absolute classic!

Royal Sun Alliance
FAO: Pippa Watson
Customer Relations
West Gate
Colston Avenue

RE: BMW Z3 Reg P192 PLR
Ref: **********

Dear Pippa Watson

It is with regret that I must complain to you now officially concerning your awful service with regards to the theft of my car from your client The Hillcroft Garage in Langston back in July 2006.

It has now been 11 months since my car was stolen and you still have not satisfactorily completed the repairs that your client was liable for. My car, one BMW Z3 (registration P192PLR) was recovered just a few weeks after its theft and returned to the same garage without my ever having seen it, and the garage refused my attempts to view the car.

Your client made no effort to contact me and would not return my calls.

Your engineer, Kevin Morris from Bridgend (07710 882 7160), examined the car after much pushing from my part through the insurance broker ‘Churchgate Insurance’ (01633 252 352) and the liaison there Don Robinson. Kevin explained that the car required a replacement engine as it had been in the garage for a new radiator and had been stolen before repairs had commenced, so the current engine was damaged beyond repair.

Kevin suggested that a reconditioned engine would be preferable to a new engine as a new engine would, for some reason, result in me having to contribute to cost of the repairs. I agreed to this and the Hillcroft garage completed the repairs and returned the car to me. It was only then that I was allowed to view the car, where I noticed that several items were missing and extra damage that I had not been informed of was present. This included a quote from BMW for a replacement arial and a new lock set as the thieves who stole the car still have a key when they drove off with the car from the Hillcroft Garage.

This included:

  • Cocoon Sleeping bag 15 GBP
  • Tom Tom Sat Nav Holder 15 GBP
  • MP3 player Tape Adapter 15 GBP
  • 1 leather glove 10 GBP
  • Ariel ripped off 16.94 GBP + VAT quote from BMW
  • New lock set 285 GBP + VAT quote from BMW
  • Fitting of the locks 300 GBP + VAT quote from BMW

Also after viewing the car in the light it became clear the rear bumper was damaged also, as though the car had been driven backwards through a fence. Kevin Morris had mentioned damage to the back of the car when he first spoke to me but I assumed it was the paint chip on the rear passenger side where someone had hit the car in a car park. No, this damage is right across the rear bumper, and was as a result of the car being stolen.

I faxed through the information to Don Robinson at Churchgate to give to you on 17th November 2006, but later found that he did not forward it to you. Neither Don Robinson nor David Cheetham of Churchgate were returning my calls or performing their job. Instead I had to contact RSA in January this year myself to secure the return of my documents and to ask about the extra work that needed to be done.

I also raised my concern that the ‘reconditioned’ engine I was told by Kevin Morris would be fitted to the car was different from the ‘brand new’ engine that BMW Rydale in Newport said they supplied for the car. The engine in the car does not look brand new, so either Kevin Morris was mistaken when he said a reconditioned engine would be fitted, BMW are mistaken when they told me they supplied a brand new engine or someone has paid for a brand new engine, only to fit a reconditioned one.

I would have thought RSA would be interested in the potential fraud of paying for a new engine only for a reconditioned engine to be supplied. Apparently not!

Did RSA pay for a brand new engine? Did BMW supply a brand new engine? Did the Hillcroft garage fit a brand new engine or a reconditioned one? Someone has made a big mistake there. I personally don’t care either way; I just want my car fixed.

I did receive my documents from RSA after a week, but was never contacted again.

I chased RSA once again on May 8th and May 10th speaking to Neil Godfrey. He assured me I would receive a call as a matter of top priority in relation to this matter. Naturally I did not.

I telephoned again on June 14th and spoke to Neil once more. He was surprised I had not been called back and assured me again that I would receive a call back during my lunch break. I did not, but did get a message after that time from Sarah Bryant apologising for not returning my call.

I tried calling again Monday morning on the 18th June, again speaking to Neil Godfrey and again I was assured that Sarah Bryant would call back before 2:00pm. She did not.

Finally after having another message on my phone from Sarah where she stated that she didn’t know how she could help me I tried Neil again. He put me on hold and left it there. I hung up as I think I have been more than reasonable in my efforts to contact RSA; making countless phone calls and faxes only to be still without the repairs to my car, 11 months after it had been stolen.

I’ve had enough of this, my car has been off the road since July 2006 and it is now June 2007. RSA are responsible for the repairs and I expect them to do what they are supposed to do. If I do not receive a satisfactory resolution to this matter within 8 weeks of this letter, which is Tuesday August 14th 2007 I shall forward the details to the financial ombudsman for them to proceed with the case.

What I require is the following:

  • The repairs as outlined above to be made immediately
  • The items stolen to be paid for
  • A written apology from Royal Sun Alliance

I trust that this matter can be dealt with without the need to involve the financial ombudsman.


Darren Jamieson

Transformers Premiere Friday 22nd

If you didn’t know there was a Transformers movie coming out this summer you’ve obviously been living under a rock for the last six months. This Friday sees the first UK showing to the press in London’s Leicester Square, and I’d completely forgotten about it.

As one of the foremost players in the Transformers community I should have had my seat sewn up months ago, but alas with all that’s been going on in my life lately it completely slipped my mind.

Still, I have a few days to try and get both myself, and my army of Transformers staff from TheTransformers.Net some cherished tickets to the big day.

I’ll keep you posted on how my efforts with Paramount UK go this week.

For the first time though; I’m actually angry with myself about this. I have so much anger to go around; it’s not usually directed my way. This time it is.

RSA show unrivalled levels of incompetence

In follow up to my previous podcast where I attempted to telephone Royal Sun Alliance about my car, and they didn’t phone back when they said they would, I tried again Monday to contact them.

Firstly Sarah Bryant was out of the office, so I once again left a message with Neil Godfrey to get her to call me back, and I explained how I didn’t understand their lack of interest in the fact that they may have been defrauded by the garage. I pointed out that I finished my lunch at 2:00pm so needed a call back before then.

Naturally, I didn’t get one.

I did get a message on my phone later that afternoon from Sarah Bryant, and I couldn’t believe what I heard. Seriously.

She apologised again for not calling me back sooner because she was away from her desk (as always) and then said, and note the incredulous tone with which I write this… ‘I’m not sure how I can help’…


Not sure how she can help!!! Fix my fucking car bitch. The motherfucker has been off the road for 11 fucking months and you’ve done fuck all about it. You were fucking asked to fix the cunt back in Autumn 2006, it’s now mid Summer 2007 and you still haven’t fucking done it.

For fuck’s sake.

How many fucking times?

This will be added as a podcast on Friday, together with any subsequent phone calls so stay tuned for that. In the mean time my letter to the bastards will go off, and be posted here shortly.

Why me, why do I always get the morons?