Tourettes Spokesman Admits Disease is a Hoax

Doctor Eugene Van Bommel, founder of the Tourettes with a Trouble (TWAT) society admitted today what many had believed for years: Tourettes isn’t a real disease at all; it is in fact one long prank started on the Internet.

Tourettes has a reported 27,000 ‘sufferers’ worldwide, all of whom it has been revealed are in on this elaborate hoax. Doctor Van Bommel commented:

“When we started this joke we didn’t think anyone would take it seriously, I mean, it’s absurd to think that some people have to shout foul and abusive language at inopportune moments and cannot control themselves. Yet when we started shouting ‘cock sucking whore’ in mass at our local church, we received compassion rather than mistrust. It just snowballed from there. It seemed no matter how disgusting our outbursts people still believed we’re suffering some affliction”

‘Cock sucking Whore’ is just one such phrase that tourettes sufferers have been shouting in public over the years, ‘twat’, ‘shit’ and ‘fuck’ are also favourite words of these jokesters.

It is believed that the hoax has taken in millions of people worldwide, with many charities even being set up to help these pranksters. All of the monies collected by these charities have apparently been held in a fund to be repaid in full to the generous but gullible donors. If you’ve given money to a tourettes charity over the years, you’ll be getting a phone call soon with details on how you can reclaim your money; assuming of course you’re not too embarrassed by your gullible nature!

With this news coming to light today we speculate on what other diseases might actually be elaborate hoaxes perpetrated on the Internet. OCD, Blindness and Aids are the bookies favourites to be exposed as hoaxes within the next month.

If you were one of the tourettes hoaxers we’d love to hear from you on what crazy, outrageous things you got away with over the years. Contact us and tell us today!

Darren Jamieson, aka MrDaz, is the Technical Director and co-founder of Engage Web and has been working online in a career spanning two decades. His first website was built in 1998 and is still live today.

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