Tesco’s in Congleton can’t be arsed to open checkouts

This guest post was written by Simon

I general, I abhor shopping in supermarkets. It is a fairly dull, dreary task, that doesn’t get anymore exciting the more you do it. Shopping when they are busy is even more upsetting. To avoid this scenario, I tend to go into supermarkets, specifically Tesco’s in Congleton, before I get to work, around 7 – 7.20 am. Unsurprisingly, the store is very quiet at this time in the morning, which is exactly how I like it.

However, it is still open for business, at least that was the impression I got from the fact that the store has “24 hour opening”. So I was rather disappointed to find when I got the checkouts this morning, they were all closed. This wasn’t due to the lack of staff available, just an unwillingness to do any work. I was then directed to the “self serve” checkouts by what looked like a checkout supervisor (the supermarket equivalent of a Russian mafia boss).

I hate the self-service checkouts. My objection to self-service checkouts is pretty straightforward. I work a considerable number of hours a week, so I do not want to put in another 10 minutes at Tesco’s grappling with a machine that doesn’t know what a banana is. What annoyed me even more is that there was a checkout assistant on an actual checkout. Instead of being available for customers, she was wiping it down with a cloth, presumably on the off chance that she might have the ingenuity to open it and serve customers in the store.

As if this wasn’t enough, whilst using the self-service checkout, I had another (slightly obese) member of staff point out that my “satsuma’s were not oranges”. Thanks for that information you moron! She then carefully watched me toil with the self-service checkout until the transaction was complete. Instead of watching customers process their own shopping, would it not be more courteous to open a checkout?

Sycophantic people on Facebook

You’ll be pleased to know that we’re back on form here with a rant right out of the top drawer of pointless rants, so sit back and relax.

Now, just what is it with sycophants? If you’re unfamiliar with the word, it means someone who hangs on every word someone else says and no matter how meaningless or stupid what they say might be, congratulates them on their genius. People who follow someone around like sheep constantly saying how great they are, feeding their ego, that’s a sycophant.

Now we’ve cleared that up, why am I so bothered? Well, when someone posts a status update on Facebook you don’t expect to have a series of people all ‘thumbing up’ your status update and commenting on it, telling you how awesome you are, unless you have just said something truly wonderful.

For example, I had a few comments on my status update last week when I made a comment to the tune of how “the BNP think that indigenous to Britain means your family have lived here since the 1960’s, and I thought Creationists were stupid”.

Fair enough, that was quite funny and offensive to Creationists and racists. Worth a few comments.

However, when people post how they’ve just been to a barbeque, you don’t expect loads of thumbs up and cries of ‘way to go Don’… yes, you’ve guessed it, it’s our old friend Don Murphy, producer of Transformers.

Some years ago Don Murphy said he’d shut my website down over on his forum, and his sycophantic followers all cackled with delight at his wielding of his mighty powers. Of course nothing happened, Don did sod all, and he promptly banned me from his forum so that his imps didn’t know the truth of his inability to act.

Not content with clogging up his own forum with his mindless comments, followed by dozens of ‘way to go Dons’, he’s now on Facebook. This wouldn’t be so bad except for the fact that every status update is followed by the same procession of mindless imbeciles all falling over themselves to pamper to his ego, no matter what he writes, as the screenshot shows.


This isn’t an isolated update either. It doesn’t matter how mundane or irrelevant his comments, they’re all treated the same way as his army of sycophantic followers pander to him as though he were Dionysus and he were about to open an evening’s entertainment at the theatre.

Too highbrow a metaphor? Yeah, probably, but I’m too angry to stop now.

People, you don’t have to sell your soul to pander to this moron. Just because he says he’s had a barbeque, or he’s got some new socks, or he’s going to the cinema, you don’t have to follow it up with ‘way to go Don’. He’s not going to reward you with a moment of his time, or become your best friend forever.

Get some self respect.

Transformers Revenge of the Fallen Review

darren-jamieson-bumblebeeSorry I haven’t posted in a while but it’s been a busy week. Last weekend I went down to London to the Transformers Revenge of the Fallen press screening and press conference at the invite of Paramount. I watched the movie, and reviewed Transformers Revenge of the Fallen here.

It’s awesome, much better than the first film.

I also filmed the press conference and added the footage to YouTube in 5 separate videos, which you can watch here.

If you’ve seen the film, let me know what you think of it!

You need to a flashplayer enabled browser to view this YouTube video

You need to a flashplayer enabled browser to view this YouTube video

You need to a flashplayer enabled browser to view this YouTube video

You need to a flashplayer enabled browser to view this YouTube video

You need to a flashplayer enabled browser to view this YouTube video

Callvalue complaint

I just had a call from some idiots at a company called Callvalue. This was annoying as I’m on the TPS and shouldn’t be getting calls like this, they broke the law. After the automated message I asked for the company’s details so I could report them, at which point I received a mumbled collection of swear words, followed by the rude sod hanging up on me.

A quick Google found this thread where it seems Callvalue don’t care about the TPS and insist on calling people regardless.

As you know I record all of my calls so will look forward to the next call from Callvalue, then we can have some real fun with them.

I have reported them to the TPS as well, despite not having all of their details. I’m sure the TPS are already aware of Callvalue.

Revels chocolates features two typos on its packaging

I’ve already posted on this website about my annoyance of people who can’t tell the difference between ‘loose’ and ‘lose’, but I didn’t think a professional company such as Mars would make that mistake on the packet of one of its chocolates.

I was wrong, and Mars really needs to proof read its products more carefully.


A recent promotion on Revels asked people not to ‘loose hope’ when it came to the coffee flavour being replaced for a limited time only… except it wasn’t for a limited time only, it was for a ‘lmited time only’.


Not one, but two typos in one sentence. That’s pretty damn poor and the sort of errors you’d expect from a primary school kid rather than a major confectionery giant such as Mars.

23rd Stockport Beer and Cider Festival 2009

daz-choosing-a-pintAs part of a tradition stretching way back to, well, 2007, I attended the spectacular drinking session that is the Stockport Beer and Cider Festival. This one was the 23rd festival, and was just as full of high APV ales as previous festivals.

It was also full of beards, men who had worked all of their drinking lives on their guts, and backpacks. Just why do people insist on wearing backpacks? All that happens is they smack into others when they turn around.

Anyhow, we typically started with the high APV drinks like the Old Tom and worked our way down, though mercifully the Ring of Fire wasn’t on when we went on Thursday. Ironically, the Ring of Fire hadn’t settled!

Really must stop going on the opening night as most of the potent brews are still gestating.

It was a much calmer event this time. No thievery, no falling over and attempting to walk home (like I could have made that this time). Previous Stockport Beer Festivals have been more incident filled.

We did carry on our much coveted tip of selecting a pint glass and asking for a half pint as many of the ‘volunteer’ bar staff are blind as bats. Look at the ‘half measure’ in the photo for example, you’ll easily get an extra half pint during the evening.

pissed-already half-measure