Schools tell parents their kids are fat

It was revealed yesterday that plans are afoot for UK schools to give the parents of over weight kids a letter telling them they are fat.

I’m wondering if this has been thought through properly. I mean, first off how demoralising would that be for the kids? The teacher gives them a letter to hand to their parents that reads something like:

Dear Mr and Mrs Lucking,

It has come to our attention that your child Adam is fat. Please stop feeding him chips.

Regards,

Stoke Comprehensive

So you see? That’s not going to fill the kid with confidence. Secondly, do they not think the parents are aware their kids are fat? Where do they think all the pies are going?

Stupid bloody government idea.

Who said cheaters never prosper?

Finally I have a data pack with my phone! This means at long last I can access my email wherever I am, and more importantly I can access Google from anywhere. What does this mean? It means I can cheat my tits off in pub quizzes, and how.

As a test last night during a quiz I wasn’t playing in I accessed the big G just to check an answer to a question. Sure enough, in less than 20 seconds I had the answer on my HP Smartphone. Awesome.

I shall be putting the plan into operation this week sometime and will let you know how it turns out. Go go Team Internet!